Fired
by Awesamfan
Summary: Jane is fired and Maura is dead. How did it happen? Is there anyway that Jane and Maura can find themselves and each other to get their happy ending?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Thank you to the warm welcome to Rizzles fan fiction writing. Rizzles fans are the best fans :) Thank you to everyone who favourited or followed me after my one-shot. A special thank you to everyone who left a review, they meant a lot. So this is the first chapter of what will be a 8 chapter story. I have already written the first 7 chapters (one more to go) so I should be uploading then daily or weekly. Don't worry, there is angst and pain but a happy ending in the end, I couldn't imagine anything unhappy happening to our two favourite girls.

Sorry for all and any mistakes, I have not beta.

I don't own the show or the characters. This is a work of fun and fiction.

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><p>A loud bang filled the bullpen. All eyes turned towards the cause of the sound. Jane Rizzoli had slammed Lieutenant Sean Cavanaugh's office door. The sound of her stomping footsteps was the only noise that filled the room. Without making eye contact with anyone Jane pulled her gold badge from her belt, her gun already absent. With a feral growl Jane spun and threw it at the wall where it crashed loudly and fell to the floor. The action seemed to please Jane's anger because she quickly turned on her desk, throwing everything to the floor. Soon her computer was in a smashed heap on top of all of her paperwork.<p>

"Rizzoli! I have ordered you to leave this building!" Cavanaugh yelled as he appeared in the room.

"I don't take any fucking orders from you anymore."

"You're fired Rizzoli. If you want to add charges to that keep going."

"Fuck you! Fuck you all!" Jane turned as if to leave but her eyes caught the picture hung to the whiteboard. The beautiful honey hair. Shining hazel eyes. Maura. Jane moved quickly and grabbed the photo. She had plenty but no one in that room deserved to look at the picture of perfection. No one. Not even her. She ripped the picture in half and then half again, letting the pieces drop to the floor. She pushed the whiteboard so that it fell over.

"Rizzoli!"

"Alright!" Jane stormed out of the room, bypassing the elevator and running down the stairs.

No one moved.

"Korsak. Frost. Get to work."

"Sean-" Korsak started.

"No Vince. You need to find the person who caused this shit storm. Jane isn't coming back. She's done. Do this for Dr Isles."

Korsak nodded.

Frost sighed and stood. He moved to the whiteboard and righted it. He picked up the torn picture, grabbed some tape and added it back to the board. It was almost poetic; Maura's image torn into four, resembling the hearts of every person that knew her.

"Don't worry doc, we'll find your killer."

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><p>2 months earlier.<p>

Jane let out a deep breath as she cracked her back; glad Maura wasn't around to complain about her bad posture.

"What's with the smile?" Frost questioned.

"Nothing," Jane returned quickly, forcing the smile off of her face, the same smile that always appeared at the thought of Maura.

Frost smirked as if he knew what she had been thinking. "Robber tonight?"

Jane nodded.

"Maura coming?"

"Of course," Jane scoffed before thinking.

"Of course Frost! Jane wouldn't be going if Maura wasn't," Korsak added from his desk.

"Shut it old man," Jane glared.

"Jane," Maura admonished as she entered the bullpen and walked straight to Jane's desk.

Jane rolled her eyes. "What? Do you wait right behind me all day just to wait until I say something you disagree with?" Jane sent Maura a soft smile to show she was kidding.

Maura blinked her eyes and turned away. Not quickly enough though because Jane saw the hurt she had caused. "Maur-"

"I was just coming by to say that I was heading to the Dirty Robber. I'll meet you there," Maura kept her eyes away from Jane, directing her comment to Korsak and Frost. She turned to leave.

"Maur give me a sec and I'll come with you," Jane said, reaching out slightly to try to grab Maura.

Maura took another step towards the door and away from Jane. "No detective, I'll be fine. Besides you appear to have paperwork that is past due."

Jane shrugged and smirked, "What's new?"

"Goodbye detective."

Maura left. Jane frowned. Two 'detectives' and no eye contact; she had some apologising to do later.

She looked over her computer and saw Frost frowning at her. "What?" She snapped.

"Nothing," Frost held up his hands and turned back to his computer.

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><p>Jane was the first to leave BPD, desperate for some alone time with Maura so that she could apologise for once again putting her foot in her mouth. Unfortunately her life just never worked out how she wanted because as she entered the Dirty Robber she was confronted with the sight of Maura flirting with some guy in THEIR both. With a glare aimed at the man she made quick work of crossing the floor and sliding into the booth straight next to Maura.<p>

"Jane?" Maura squeaked from shock.

"Who's this?" Jane almost growled, not even glancing at the woman to her left.

"Hi, I'm Greg," the man said, reaching a hand across the table.

Jane moved her harsh eyes from his face to his band quickly. She made no move to reach out to his hand so it let it drop awkwardly.

"Umm... well I-"

"We're meeting friends. I think you should leave."

The man - Greg - looked at Maura, questioningly. Jane felt, not saw, Maura shrug as she was still glaring daggers that the undeserving man across from her.

"OK. Maura can I get your number?"

Maura quickly slid a card across the table to him.

"Thanks," he nodded and almost ran from the booth.

"What was that Jane?" Maura demanded, turning slightly sideways to face Jane.

Jane sighed and finally turned to face Maura, forgetting whatever she'd been about to say as she looked over the woman. Her beautiful honey hair fell in soft curls around her face and down her back. Her tight green dress hugged her hips as if it was made for her. It probably was. Her plump lips were a rosy red and her eyes seemed almost golden in the soft light.

"Jane?" Maura asked again, exasperated.

Jane shrugged, reaching out a finger to softly bounce on of Maura's curls. "I needed to apologise before the guys got here."

Maura face broke into a small smile. "Forgiven."

"But Maura I haven't even apologised yet."

"Yes you have. I know you didn't mean it. I overreacted."

"No you didn't. I have no right to say things like that to you."

"Jane. I know that my correcting you can be frustrating-"

"Considering how much of a genius you are I'm surprised you don't do it more."

Maura smiled and leaned back into the chair, someone also pressing closer against Jane.

"Drinks ladies?" Frost asked as he stood at the table and Korsak slid into the booth.

"Two beers," Jane smirked.

"Jane," Maura frowned.

"C'mon, please," Jane begged, keeping her eyes wide. "I love it when you drink beer."

Maura sighed. "Only if you have a lovely chardonnay with me after."

"We'll see."

"Jane-"

"Two beers," Jane turned to Frost smiling. Frost only shook his head and went to order.

Jane groaned and stretched, raising both arms and dropping one around Maura's shoulders.

"Have you been hunching your shoulders again Jane?" Maura asked.

Jane just smiled at her softly and let her hand play with the soft honey locks, turning her attention to a conversation with Korsak and the animal he had 'saved' that week. Jane felt content; Maura to her side and her best friends across the table, having beers after work. Yep, this was perfect.

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><p>End of chapter one :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who followed and favourited this story! A massive thank you to Lisurs for the review :) I hope the ending is pleasantly surprising for you! As promised, chapter 2.**

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><p>Jane took a deep breath, letting the scent of pancakes bring her out of her peaceful slumber. She hadn't slept that well in weeks. The reason for her comfortable sleep was apparent as soon as she became fully conscious. It was Maura's mattress beneath her, Maura's sheets around her, Maura's hair across her cheek, Maura's scent in her nose with the pancakes, Maura's skin under her hands, Maura's hand on her hip. Everything was Maura. Everything Jane ever wanted was Maura.<p>

Jane allowed herself another deep breath, this time focusing on the woman in her arms and not the breakfast being made down stairs. That thought caused her to slowly extract herself from her best friend; if Maura was in the bed then the only person who could be cooking in the kitchen would be her nosy, boundary-pushing Mother and she didn't need her to wander upstairs and find Jane staring at her FEMALE friend like the creeper she was quickly becoming.

With one last look at the sleeping doctor Jane closed the door and headed towards the kitchen and her Mother.

"Morning Ma," She yawned as she sat down in a chair at the island.

"Janie? I didn't know you were here. You're car isn't out front," Angela answered in way of greeting.

"Good to see you too Ma," Jane smirked.

Angela just shook her head and grabbed a third plate out.

Jane raised a brow wondering how often her best friend was forced to have meals alone with her mother but she knew better than to ask. "We had some drinks at the Robber last night so I just got a lift home with Maur. It was safer." _Safer physically but not emotionally_, Jane thought as her mind flashed back to the woman upstairs.

Angela quirked a brow and paused, noting Jane referring to Maura's house as home. With a quick scan over Jane's tired features she decided now would be a good time to push the subject, considering Jane's lowered defences.

"So where is my other daughter?" Angela asked.

"Still asleep," Jane smiled without thinking.

"Did you check in her room before coming down here?" Angela asked again, stopping all action and waiting to see how Jane responded.

Jane's eyes widened when she realises the trap she had just walked into. She might not have Maura's inability to lie but she was well aware of her mother's freakish ability to read her. "Umm... yes?"

"Is that a question?"

"Well no. You see I... I slept in her room. It was late and her guest room doesn't have fresh sheets so..."

"Yes it does," Maura said as she entered the room, sounding offended at the thought.

Jane dropped her head into her arms on the counter, making sure to peek out so she could still see Maura.

"Morning Angela," Maura smiled pleasantly as she grabbed herself and Jane a coffee from her fancy French machine.

"Morning sweetie, sleep well?" Angela asked as she quickly gave Maura a side hug.

"Quite well actually. I often find that I am able to reach a deeper REM state whenever I share a bed with Jane. She's very protective," Maura sent a soft smile to Jane as she slid the coffee in front of her friend, making sure the last part was only for Jane's ears.

"Thanks Maur," Jane returned the smile as she leaned across and placed a kiss on Maura's cheek.

Angela raised her brows at the contacts but didn't say anything.

"So sharing a bed is common?" Angela asks innocently.

Maura opened her mouth to answer but Jane quickly cut her off before she admitted to the thrice-weekly sleepovers. "We're best friends. What's for breakfast?" Jane changed the conversation.

Angela let the topic drop, intent to try again in a few days; she'd get her daughter out of the closest if it killed her. She wanted grandbabies and soon.

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><p>Jane leaned back in her chair, completely bored. If there wasn't a homicide call soon she might need to commit one herself, anything to get herself off her more-than-friendly feelings for her best friend. Her target was probably going to be Crowe if he didn't stop staring at her. Finally she'd had it.<p>

"The fuck do you want Crowe?"

"Nothing Rizzoli, calm your tits," He sniggered.

"What did you just say?" Jane growled standing to her feet.

Frost and Korsak dropped the files they had been reading and moved so that they'd be reading to step in should they be needed.

"I'd have thought after finally getting laid that'd you'd chill out."

"What are you talking about?" Jane growled again.

"What? You telling me the Doc didn't put out? C'mon she looked like a done deal to the rest of us."

Jane felt her heart stop, finally understanding what Crowe was hinting at. "Doctor Isles is my best friend and your colleague, I'd suggest you treat her as such," Jane threatened dangerously.

"Defending your girlfriend, how sweet. Bet you know how to warm up the Queen of the Dead."

That was all it took. Jane snapped. She pulled her first back and took two giant steps forward. Luckily for Crowe Korsak and Frost grabbed her fist before she was able to let it fly. She shrugged them off and moved to attack again, still feeling pure anger flowing through her veins only to be stopped again.

"Crowe! Rizzoli!" Cavanaugh's voice pierced the silence in the bullpen.

Jane dropped her fist and stepped back, not easing up on the icy glare she was sending at Crowe.

"My office detectives, now."

Jane pushed Crowe, hard, and moved towards Cavanaugh's open door.

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><p>"What was that about," Cavanaugh demanded as soon as Crowe and Rizzoli had sat down.<p>

"She just lost it. Must be that time of the month."

"That's enough Crowe. Rizzoli?"

"He was being a dick about Doctor Isles."

Cavanaugh sighed and rubbed his temples. He wasn't oblivious to the growing relationship between his best detective and the Medical Examiner. He had been worried for a while of the fallout Rizzoli would face when she finally outed herself... unfortunately it looked like the fallout was starting before the relationship even began.

"Take a walk Rizzoli, we'll talk later."

Jane grunted and stormed out of the door. She should have walked outside, gone for a coffee, anything to get rid of the anger but she didn't. She had already embarrassed herself enough for one day and she didn't want to give Crowe or any like-minded detectives the benefit of needing to leave to blow off steam so she returned to her desk, letting herself stew.

Unfortunately Maura proved to have horrible timing as she chose that moment to personally deliver the lab results from a past case that was needed for trial.

Frost and Korsak shared a look, knowing whatever was about to happen wouldn't be good but knowing no way to stop it. Maybe they'd be lucky and Maura would actually be able to calm Jane, she normally could.

"Hello Sergeant, detectives," She greeted happily.

Frost and Korsak just nodded in reply, turning to the closest thing and pretending to be completely immersed in work.

Maura didn't notice because she was tuned to Jane's moods and knew that Jane was angry, deeply, dangerously angry. Maura stepped quietly and slowly towards Jane's desk, dropping herself into the seat beside it, commonly known in the office as 'her' seat. "Jane?" Maura said softly, keeping her voice so low that no one else could hear her, except for maybe Frost if he listened hard enough.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," Jane forced from her mouth.

Maura bit her lip. Social situations were her undoing. Should she walk away? Would Jane think she was abandoning her? Should she stay and try to make Jane talk? Jane certainly couldn't just sit there in that mood, she'd be snapping all day and that would certainly impact her job.

Maura reached out a soft hand, hoping that the contact would be enough to ask Jane to tell her what to do. It was a mistake.

Jane leapt up and away as soon as Maura's hand touched her. She felt the eyes of every person in the bullpen look at her, she felt Maura's shocked and confused gaze and the judgemental stares of Crowe's friends.

She wasn't in control of the next thing she said. "Doctor Isles can't you see that I am busy? I don't know how the chief Medical Examiner is able to sit around gossiping all day but us detectives do actual work here."

Maura's body snapped back as if Jane's had physically hit her. It felt as if she had. "Sorry detective, I was just-"

"God!" Jane groaned, rolling her eyes and cutting of Maura. "If I need you I will find you in the icy morgue, OK Queen of the Dead?"

Tears filled Maura's eyes immediately and Jane froze, realising what she had just done and said.

"Maur-"

"I understand detective. Here are the files for the McLaughlin case. I'll just be..." Maura's voice choked, cutting off whatever she'd been planning to say and she quickly turned and left.

"Maura!" Jane tried again.

She moved to go after her friend but stopped as she saw Crowe standing at the open doorway to Cavanaugh's office.

Dyke, he mouthed.

Jane grabbed her blazer and left, not going to Maura, not going to her Ma, not going home. Jane just needed to go.

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><p>End chapter 2 :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I felt bad about the sad ending to the previous chapter so I wanted to post this straight away :) Thanks to every single person who is reading and again thank you to the people reviewing. I know I said that this was 8 chapters but after finishing writing the 8th chapter I've decided to add an extra one so it will be 9 chapters :) **

**I still don't own R&I**

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><p>Jane unlocked and opened her door, letting it slowly close behind her. She dropped her keys carelessly on the kitchen counter and grabbed a beer, heading straight to her couch. She flopped down and dropped her gun, badge and feet onto the coffee table. She swallowed half of the beer in one go. She hadn't been suspended but after eventually returning to the precinct she'd faced an official warning to be added to all the others in her file. The only positive was that Crowe had received a matching one. She deserved it anyway, not for what she'd said to Crowe, that piece of shit deserved it, for what she had done to Maura. She hadn't found any excuse... or guts... to take a trip down to the morgue after her return. God... Maura deserved more than the shit she kept putting her through.<p>

_I need to cut this out or soon she'll stop coming back for more, _Jane thought as she reached for her phone. She stared sadly at the lack of notifications because quickly finishing the rest of her beer. This weren't enough words in her vocabulary to say sorry to Maura in a way that she deserved. There probably weren't even the right words in Maura's vocabulary and that was saying something.

No Maura was better than a phone call. Jane quickly locked away her badge and gun and grabbed her keys, slamming the door with more energy on her exit.

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><p>Jane made quick time, almost flying across Boston on her way to Maura. It wasn't long better she was standing at Maura's front door trying to build the courage to knock. She could see the lights on so she knew the doctor was still awake. Just as she gained the confidence to raise her hand the door opened. Only, it wasn't her best friend, it was her mother.<p>

"Ma?" Jane frowned, confused.

"Jane," Angela returned with her own frown.

Jane gestured to the inside of the house but Angela didn't budge from her space blocking the door. "Ma, can I come in?"

"I don't think that's best right now Janie," Angela sighed, the anger in her face lessening but still present.

"I need to speak to Maura."

Angela glanced over her shoulder and towards the stairs. _Maura must be in her room,_ Jane guessed.

"I think you should go."

"Ma?"

"Listen Jane, I heard what happened today-"

"Did Maura-"

"Maura didn't say anything so don't even start there!" Angela snapped, causing Jane to take a shocked step backwards. "It was all over the station. Vince saw me in the cafeteria and asked if I could check in on Maura because he didn't feel it was his place. He didn't say anything, his face confirmed everything I'd heard."

"Well it's not really your place is it Ma?" Jane commented, moving forward and pushing past her mother, taking care to not hurt her in any way.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! I love that girl as if she is my own child-"

"But she isn't Ma! I am your child." Jane ran a hand through her hair and stepped further into the house, stopping at the stairs to look up to where she was sure Maura was. "Ma I need your help."

Angela closed the door softly and moved towards Jane, resting a hand on her shoulder and losing all trace of anger from her face.

"I screwed up Ma. I really hurt her."

Angela nodded, agreeing with her.

"Has she said anything to you?"

Angela shook her head. "I tried. She just wanted to go to bed. She looked crushed."

"How do I even begin to say sorry?"

"Maybe start by explaining why you were so angry."

"Crowe was a douche," Jane growled.

Angela shook her head again. "That wasn't what made you mad sweetie."

"Yes it was."

"It was people talking about your relationship with Maura."

"It was CROWE talking about my relationship with Maura."

"Exactly. He may be a horrid man but he only seems the same thing we all do."

Jane was stiff. "Ma... I'm not gay."

Angela rubbed Jane shoulder lightly and then withdrew her hand. "I'll be in the guesthouse if you need me... if either of you need me."

Jane made no effort to acknowledge her mother, still stuck on the part where her mother just implied that she was gay. She may have had overly friendly feelings for her friend and she may enjoy thinking about doing extremely sexual things to that same friend but did that make her gay? Gay, queer, dyke. Those were the words she heard her entire life. Every time she played sports, every time she didn't wear a dress, every time she preferred to play with boys, every time she acted a little too touchy with her few female friends she was gay. She had fought against it every single day of her life. She had fought against the other cops. She had fought against her brothers. Now her mother seemed to think it too. They couldn't be right, those kids that would push her down and say she had gay cooties... they couldn't be right.

But Maura... with her beautiful hair and beautiful eyes and beautiful heart... In this moment, for the first time, she let herself admit that she was attracted to her friend. She let herself admit that she loved her friend... as more than a friend. But she wouldn't let herself act on it.

Regardless of any soul discoveries that were being made the very real fact that her friend was upstairs upset because of what she had done. Actions she had taken in reaction to just another person calling her out for being... gay.

Jane would have to make some changes but first, she had to make a hugeass apology.

Jane knocked on the door quickly and pushed it open before she heard a response, hoping Maura would be asleep. She almost backed out of the room, assuming that was the case, until she saw the telltale shake of shoulders. Maura was curled into a small ball in the dark in her bed, crying.

Without thinking Jane was across the room and onto the bed, crawling across and pulling Maura flush against her. She wrapped the smaller woman into a tight hug, making every body part press against each other.

Maura froze for only a second before moving her own arms around Jane just as tightly.

"I'm so fucking sorry," Jane repeated over and over into Maura's hair, adding kisses and strokes from one hand. "I'm such a fucking fool."

That seemed to be the permission Maura was looking for as she took a deep breath and her silent crying turned into loud sobbing.

"I'm so fucking sorry Maur."

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><p><strong>AN: We all know that Maura will forgive Jane anything, even shooting her father. Just a heads up that a character from early on in the show will be appearing in the next chapter… not because I like him but because I needed him for the story and instead of creating a character I might actually like I needed to chose someone I hated. **

**End chapter 3.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Honestly thank you so much, again, for the reviews, favourites and follows. It always brightens my day when I get to check my emails and I see all the notifications. I'm so glad to be joining the R&I family, you are all so lovely! Now… I warned last chapter that people wouldn't be liking the guest appearance in this chapter so don't hate me for it :( The rest of the chapter is lovely Rizzles interaction though! Hope you like it! (Darn Maura's big brain is hard to write for!)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Rizzoli & Isles.**

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><p>For the second morning Jane wakes to the smell of breakfast. She reaches a hand across the comfortable bed, reaching for Maura. Her eyes fly open when her hand only finds cold sheets; Maura has been awake for a while. Jane stretched and rolled onto her back, bringing her arms behind her head and staring at the ceiling. Maura had cried herself to sleep, Jane following soon after, not even wanting to withdraw her contact for the time it would have taken to change into one of the many sets of pyjamas Maura keeps for her. Maura hadn't said anything; she hadn't even looked at Jane.<p>

Jane rolled off the bed ungracefully and made her way downstairs, ready to attempt another apology. Three days in a row she'd owed Maura an apology. She really needed to pull her head out of her ass and her foot out of her mouth. Jane smirked for a second, trying to imagine what that would even look like, before her face dropped at the sight in the kitchen.

Maura was wearing a fluffy white robe that Jane was sure cost more than the detective made in a week. Her hair was softly flowing down her back in seamless curls. What broke Jane's heart was the slight sniffle and the uncharacteristically slumped shoulders that made her seem so small and vulnerable. Jane would take a bullet for this woman, would do anything to protect... but what does she do when she is the cause of the pain? Well for one, she knew she needed to start doing whatever it was that was best for Maura, no matter how it hurt her own heart.

"Morning pretty girl," Jane said softly, almost a whisper, as she slid into a chair at the island, wanting to give Maura her space.

Maura turned her head towards Jane slightly, acknowledging she had heard but making no effort to actually face her. "Coffee?"

"Nuh I want some panda poo tea," Jane smirked.

"Really?" Maura chirped, spinning to face Jane with a wide smile on her face, misery temporarily forgotten. Upon seeing Jane's teasing smile she understood that she had just missed the joke. "Oh, ha ha," She smiled, quickly grabbing a cup, filling it, and placing it in front of the brunette.

Jane grabbed her wrist lightly before Maura could move back to the eggs and what appeared to be turkey bacon that she was making. Maura stopped but didn't meet Jane's eyes.

"Maur... can you please look at me?"

Maura slowly raised sad hazel eyes to Jane's, bright with unshed tears.

Jane lifted her spare hand to Maura's jaw, stroking it softly but keeping her hold on Maura's wrist with her other hand. "I had no right to say those things to you. I have no excuse that will take away those things I said. I didn't mean any of it, I am sorry."

"No... it was my fault."

"Maura, stop it. Stop thinking that every time that I'm a dick that it's your fault."

"It's basic psychology. Displacement. A theory originated with Sigmund Freud that there is an unconscious defense mechanism wherein the mind will substitute a new object for aggression if the original target is unacceptable. It is the minds way of transferring emotions in order to alleviate anxiety in the face of aggression."

Maura felt herself smile as she took in Jane's confused frown.

"I theorise that Detective Crowe was the original target for your aggression but as he was unattainable - in Lieutenant Sean Cavanaugh's office - your mind seeked to dispel the aggression and I misguidedly pushed you into a confrontation by not giving you time or opportunity to... calm down."

"Isn't Fraud that guy who thought everyone wanted to bang their mothers?"

Maura rolled her eyes, obviously spending far too much time with Jane. "Sigmund Freud and in a word - yes. Although that it just a common misconception because - "

"I always thought psychology was a 'soft science' unlike the better hard sciences like pathology," Jane teased.

"I can admit that there are benefits to psychology."

"How big of you," Jane smiled, her eyes shining as she took in Maura's matching smile.

Maura shook her head and moved back to the eggs. "Are we still on for Saturday?"

Jane smirked at Maura's back, grateful for the opening to get another rise out of her friend. "Saturday?"

"Jane!" Maura whipped around so quickly that a small piece of the scrambled eggs flew across the kitchen from the spatula in Maura's tight hand.

Jane tried to keep her face impassive but quickly cracked at seeing how cute Maura's shocked face was. "I know! Yoga, brunch, shopping and then wasting 3 hours of my life."

Maura turned back to the eggs, happy that Jane did actually remember the plans that had been made months ago when they realised that this would be their only Saturday off together for the foreseeable future (assuming there were no murders on Friday). "3 hours and 39 minutes."

"3 hours and 39 minutes," Jane groaned. "Why do you like to torture me?"

"Jane. It is a very educational movie. We are actually very lucky that the art theatre will be playing it this Saturday. I'm sure you'll find it very enjoyable."

"I'm sure I'll find it just as enjoyable as the painful yoga, rich people brunch and carrying your various shoes around shopping."

Maura glanced over at Jane as she plated the breakfast.

"There do appear to be more enjoyable activities for myself to enjoy than you... we can cancel the yoga and go running. Maybe go to the chocolate cafe instead of brunch?"

Jane shook her head as she took a large bite of the eggs. "Nuh," She said around the food in her mouth, "S'cool. 'Bout time we did some stuff you liked. You always put up with me watching sports her with the guys."

"Of course Jane," Maura smiled, once again excited for the weekend.

Silence fell over them, peaceful and companionable, the type of silence that seemed special to the connection she had with Maura.

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><p>The week flew by quickly with Jane taking special care to treat Maura as a best friend should be treated and soon it was Saturday, a day that she actually found herself looking forward to, not because of what they were doing but because it was an entire day with just her and her favourite person. She was woken up far too early for a Saturday with a text from Maura.<p>

Maura: Make sure to eat a light but nutritious breakfast this morning.

Jane smirked, wanting to take another opportunity to tease her friend. Sometimes she felt like that little boy that just kept pulling Maura's piggytails because she couldn't find the right way to say how she felt. Of course that thought started leading to other thoughts about sexual orientation so she quickly jammed it away.

Jane: Why? What's today?

Jane stayed in bed, staring at a phone as she imagined Maura rolling her eyes, just like the detective had taught her. She pouted as she realised Maura wouldn't be replying and pulled herself out of bed and to the kitchen.

She'd only taken one bite of a stale cold piece of pizza when there was a knock on the door. Her eyes widened and she looked for where to hide the old pizza. It was probably Maura and she didn't want to start the day off with a lecture about why week old pizza wasn't a viable breakfast option. She didn't seem to remember that she was actually supposed to be the one picking Maura up so there would be no reason for Maura to be there.

She stuck the pizza under a couch cushion, wincing at how gross that was and also hoping that Maura didn't want to sit on the couch. There was another, less patient knock, so she quickly made her way to the door. She flung it open and her mouth dropped in surprise. It wasn't Maura...

"Dean?"

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><p><strong>AN: you were warned… sorry. Next chapter will be a bit rocky… we are heading into that whole dead Maura, fired Jane thing so it's going to start ramping up.**

**End chapter 4.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey… Not going to write much here… I'll meet you done the bottom and see if you still want to be my friend :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Rizzoli and Isles.**

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><p>"Dean?"<p>

"Hey Jane."

"What... What are you doing here?" Jane asked, fighting to gain her composure not wanting to see this man see her stumble. She pushed a mask of indifference onto her face, promising not to change it unless she wanted to show anger. Anger and indifference. They would be her only two emotions today.

Dean sighed. "Can I come in? We need to talk and I don't want to do this in your public hallway." Dean glanced at the door of Jane's neighbour, Mrs Duffy, who had moved in soon after Riley had left. She was a nice old lady, half-deaf though.

Jane glanced over her shoulder into her home. It was messy. It was personal. "Are you here for a case?"

Dean nodded. "I didn't want to just show up on Monday without talking to you."

Jane understood and appreciated the attempt to save her from experiencing this publicly... imagine what Crowe would be saying? "Mutual ground. Dirty Robber," Jane grunted.

Dean raised a brow, "They do coffee?"

"New owners made it very..." _Maura-centric_, Jane added silently. "Give me 10 minutes to change."

"Sure. I'll drive."

* * *

><p>Across town.<p>

Maura sat primly on her couch, dressed in her specially designed and slightly pricey yoga outfit. She had been expecting Jane to arrive half an hour ago and was starting to feel slightly anxious. Had Jane honestly forgotten about their plans? Maura had just assumed the text was a joke... more teasing just to get a rise out of the ME... Should Maura ring her?

Maura glanced at her watch again and pulled out her phone. Before she could dial Angela walked in.

"Morning sweetie. Want time is Janie picking you up? You two have a full 'girls day' today don't you."

Maura looked up at Angela with large full eyes, trying to keep pack her tears and insecurities.

"Maura? Honey, what's wrong?"

Of course mother could read her as well as daughter.

"It's nothing Angela," Maura tried, immediately feeling the itching that indicated Urticaria. Maura tried again, using honesty this time, "I was expecting Jane a while ago..."

"Maybe she is running late, you know my Janie," Angela smiled, sitting herself beside her surrogate daughter and placing a warm hand onto Maura's knee.

Maura nodded. "Perhaps. I don't like to guess. She did send me a message hinting that she had forgotten our plans for today-"

"She was probably teasing. She wouldn't forget you."

"You're right," Maura smiled and pulled her phone out, quickly pressing one on her speed dial. There was no answer. "If she were driving her Bluetooth would have..." Maura looked up at Angela's worried face and cut herself of. She knew how much Angela worried about her detective daughter. "I'll just go over to her apartment. We are too late for yoga but we will be able to make brunch still. I'll call you when I find her," Maura smiled warmly.

"Thank you honey," Angela said, patting Maura's knee again before moving to stand. "Enjoy your day."

Maura nodded and headed out to her Prius, taking her dress with her, she could change at Jane's.

* * *

><p>Jane's apartment.<p>

It was closer to half an hour later that she was locking her apartment door and heading downstairs and outside to where she had asked Dean to wait. She didn't know if Dean would be returning to her apartment at some point so she'd taken time to move everything into her bedroom... there was no way that he would be getting into that room.

Jane found Dean leaning against a rental car right outside her door. Without saying a word she slipped into the passenger seat. He quickly joined her and the two left, not even glancing at the car approaching the building in their rear-view mirror.

* * *

><p>Maura parked, happy with her luck being able to locate a parking spot directing outside Jane's apartment. Maura grabbed her dress and quickly entered the building. She knocked on Jane's door and waited patiently. Nothing. She knocked again. Still nothing.<p>

Frowning and trying to push all 'Jane could be in trouble' thoughts from her mind she reached for her key to Jane's apartment. Jane had given it to her for emergencies. What was more emergent that a missing best friend? Maura gave one more knock before sticking the key into the lock. Before she had the chance to turn the key she was interrupted by a voice behind her.

"Are you looking for Jane dear?"

Maura turned and smiled at Mrs Duffy, Jane's elderly neighbour. "Good morning Mrs Duffy. Yes I am, have you seen her today?"

"Oh hello Maura," Mrs Duffy replied warmly and recognising her neighbours constant companion. "A man came to collect her a while ago. I think it was a date. They made quite the couple."

Maura was stunned into silence. Jane had forgotten their plans. Jane had gone on a date without even telling her.

"Alright dear," Mrs Duffy continued, not even noticing Maura's broken face, "I'll see you soon," and she disappeared into her own apartment.

Maura was frozen in place, her genius mind moving a mile a minute. She could barely get a handle on her thoughts, she felt both numb and broken. Two thoughts were the loudest. Jane wasn't there. Jane was on a date.

Maura used her key to enter the apartment, telling herself it was to change into her dress but fully aware that she wanted to be positive that Jane wasn't hiding somewhere, waiting to jump out and declare this all one of her horrible jokes.

No Jane. Maura changed quickly. She took a second, looking in the mirror, to call back her years of social etiquette to place an uncaring and calm look on her face. This was the face of the Queen of the Dead. The Queen of the Dead didn't care that her best friend had just crushed her heart beneath her fashion homicide boots.

* * *

><p>At the Dirty Robber.<p>

Jane had slid into her usual booth while Casey went to order the coffees. He hadn't given any hint of the case he would be working during the drive. Actually, there had barely been any talking except for the occasional direction from Jane. Dean may have been here before but he would never know the roads like a Boston cop.

Soon Dean was joining her in the booth with the two coffees. "These any good?"

Jane shrugged, not feeling the need to form an actual reply considering he could just take a sip and see for himself.

"So..." he started. "How have you been?"

Jane frowned. "Brilliant."

Dean sighed. "Jane I'm trying here."

"What do you want me to say Dean? It's great to see you. Every time you come into town you bring problems with you and seem to give run after the damage is done. What's it gonna be this time?"

"I'm sorry that we met during Hoyt... maybe if we didn't then you wouldn't associate me with him."

"Hoyt's dead. Didn't you hear?"

"I heard."

"Good. It's not him I associate you with."

"Doyle?"

"What do you think?"

"I made a mistake Jane, one that almost cost me my job and definitely cost me you. I had no clue that Doyle would be walking into an undercover operation, if I did then I would have contacted you."

"That's easy to say now. Why are you here Dean?"

"I have a case. My partner and I will be at BPD on Monday and I didn't want things to be... uncomfortable."

"What case?"

"I can't say."

Jane nodded. She understood that the FBI was all about 'need to know'. That didn't mean she had to like it. "Fine. It won't be uncomfortable. Unless of course this case directly affects me in which case you can shove your 'need to know' bullshit."

Dean smiled and leaned backwards. "Your lieutenant will be deciding how much to tell you on Monday. Now... how about some lunch?"

* * *

><p>Maura had gone to brunch by herself. It was a strange experience. Years ago she would always attend brunch alone. Years ago she was doing everything alone. How was it possible that after a few years and friendship with Jane that she had forgotten what that was like. She had grown to accustomed to having a person that she found it very difficult to even pretend to enjoy having a meal by herself. She felt lonely. She felt small. She felt like that little girl that sat high in her room with a book while she watched her school... colleagues playing without her, while her parents went to events without her, while her nanny and butler went to their own warm homes without her. And now Jane had gone without her. Maura was cursed to be alone. The last few years had been a nice reprieve, a glimpse into while all those other people were always smiling and enjoying themselves.<p>

Maura sighed deeply and headed to her fitting appointment... alone.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile...<p>

After Dean's apology and Jane's semi-acceptance she had found herself actually enjoying the lunch and drinks after. Dean had quite a few colourful work stories and Jane was enjoying the game of trying to beat him with her own. Of course Dean always came down on the by the book side of the law enforcement in her story while she skirted with danger which made her stories better, in her opinion. Soon it was late in the afternoon, the bar was becoming crowded and Dean was hinting that they should be going.

"Thanks for giving me a chance," Dean said honestly as they made their way to his car.

"Yeah well thanks for not making this happen at work."

Dean shrugged and looked at his watch. "Looks like I've taken your whole day, sorry about that. Hope I didn't make you cancel any plans."

Jane froze. Literally froze. She felt her heart stop, her legs stopped, her breathing stopped, her brain stopped.

"Jane?" Dean frowned when he noticed Jane was no longer beside him. "Hey, you OK?" He reached an arm out and touched Jane's arm, causing her to jump back to life, fully in panic mode.

"Fuck," Jane screamed loudly, pulling her hands through her hair. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Jane?"

"I need to- I need a- car!" Jane was glancing all around her.

"Need a lift?"

Jane nodded and ran to Dean's rental, almost pulling the handle off the car in her attempt to get in before he had the chance to unlock it.

* * *

><p>Jane was pulling the door open while the car was still moving, feet on the group before Dean had actually parked. Jane ran straight at the door, banging it hard with her fist.<p>

"Maura!" She yelled out.

Quickly, but not quickly enough in Jane's liking, the door was opened to reveal Angela.

_Why is Maura never behind doors when I want her to be?, _Jane thought.

Jane pushed straight past her mother and into the lounge room. Her eyes scanned that room, the kitchen and the dining room. "Maura!" She yelled again, moving to head up the stairs.

Angela stood in her path.

"Ma, where's Maura?"

"Gone."

Jane stopped and looked at her mother, feeling herself calming down slightly. She was still panicking but she had regained a sense of reality, even if her blood went cold at her mother's tone. "Gone?"

"You didn't turn up. She went to your apartment. Your neighbour told her that you were on a date-"

"It wasn't a date Ma."

"She called me so that I wouldn't panic-"

"Why would you panic?"

"Because I walked in and found one of my daughters almost crying on the couch because the other daughter was missing."

Jane looked down at the carpet, overwhelmed with guilt.

"She told me that she was going shopping and she'd be home later."

"Later? Ma this can't wait, I need to find her."

"You're right," Angela agreed. Without another word Angela returned to the kitchen, not giving her daughter any comfort. Right now her Janie had made a mistake and there was nothing that Angela could do to fix it, if it could even be fixed.

* * *

><p>Jane pulled her car to a stop outside of the downtown arts cinema. Dean had driven her home to collect her car and she'd spent the last hour driving to all of Maura's favourite boutiques before remembering the French movie that Maura had been planning to see today.<p>

Jane quickly purchased an overly expensive ticket and ran straight into the theatre. She saw Maura's honey hair straight away... it helped that Maura was literally the only person in the room. Jane began to move silently towards her friend, hoping to get as close as possible before Maura noticed she was there.

Her detective stealth mode must have been broken because Maura's tear covered face whipped to her as soon as she reached Maura's isles.

"Maur-"

"Don't Jane."

Jane quickly moved into a seat one over from Maura. "I'm so-"

"I don't want to hear it Jane," Maura said in a cold and detached voice.

"Maur-" Jane reached a hand across the empty seat towards her friend.

"Don't touch me!" Maura yelled.

And just like that they were both transported to three years ago when Maura had said almost those exact same words in that exact same tone after Jane had made a different mistake and hurt her friend. She was always hurting Maura.

"I need you to leave Jane," Maura whispered, sounding broken.

Jane shook her head, she would not be leaving her best friend like this. "Please listen to me."

Maura didn't move so Jane took that as permission to continue.

"Dean showed up-"

"Agent Dean?"

"Yeah."

"You stood me up for a date with Agent Dean?"

Jane had never seen Maura so vulnerable. She didn't know what to say. "It wasn't a date... he has a case and he wanted to talk to me so that it wouldn't be awkward on Monday. I am so sorry Maura, can you forgive me?"

Maura stared ahead at the screen, tears falling silently down her face. She was still so beautiful. "I appreciate that you let me be your friend, that you let me spend time with your family and that you let me spend time with you but-"

"Let you? Maura, I love spending time with you. My family loves spending time with you."

"Then why didn't you want to spend today with me? Was it because the activities weren't to your liking? I offered to change but you said it was fine because we-"

"Always do want I want," Jane finished. Jane reached for Maura hand again, only to have Maura tense and moved another seat away. "I DO LOVE spending time with you. I DO. I just saw Dean and... forgot. There is no other excuse, no other reason. Just plain stupid forgetfulness."

"I've been looking forward to today for months."

Jane nodded. She knew. God she knew. She had been looking forward to it to. Now she could only sit in silence as she saw her best friend break. It had been a week of mistakes, a week of her using and hurting her best friend. She could see in Maura's eyes that there was no forgiveness for this one. She had pushed in too far and Maura had fallen into her insecurities. So she had no choice but to just listen as the next words came from her friend.

"I need time Jane. I need distance. I need you to leave."

Jane could read between the lines and knew her friend was asking for more than just time and distance in this moment. "How long?"

"Until it stops hurt-," Maura's voice croaked and she stopped speaking. "I have some thinking to do and I need to do it alone."

Jane nodded and stood. There were no words, no fighting to be done to change this. "I'll wait Maura. I'll be there when you're ready. I promise."

Maura didn't move her eyes from the screen. Jane began to leave.

"Jane?" Maura whispered, just loud enough that Jane heard. "Monday..."

Jane knew what she was asking. "I'll be there. As a colleague or as a friend. You choose."

Maura nodded once and Jane left.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So… that's where I was heading **:) **We are one week down. 7 weeks away from Jane being fired. Hope you're still with me after this! Dean isn't in this as a love interest so don't worry about that! Jane has some apologising to do and don't worry, she comes through :) Thanks again to all the reviews, favourites and follows! I appreciate every single one of you so much!**

**End chapter 5.**


	6. Chapter 6 - Part 1

**A/N: So… this chapter is actually only half of the actual chapter that I wrote. It should be around 6000 words long but after reading over it today before posting I decided to cut it. It was pretty heavy, mostly because this is the chapter where Maura… you know… so that's going to be happening in the next chapter now. This half is still pretty heavy without it and I personally feel like Jane makes up for everything in this one. I'm actually really nervous about it… It's kinda based on something I watched my sister experience so it's pretty personal to me. So… let me know what you think with your fantastic reviews, favourites and follows which make me smile like a looney.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

><p>Jane walked into work early armed with an extra coffee and eager to see Maura. Sunday family dinner had been cancelled, Angela claiming to be 'busy', but Jane knew the reason was something closer to the separation between herself and the person who owned the house that they had their dinners in. Jane headed straight down to Maura's office, hoping to at least see Maura and present her with a coffee and Fudge Cluster before the workday started. She was disappointed to find both the office and morgue empty. The jacket over the back of Maura's chair showed that Maura was already at work though. Maybe Jane could just wait for her.<p>

* * *

><p>After five minutes Jane grew impatient and stuck her head into the lab where she could see Suzie at work.<p>

"'Sup Chang," she greeted.

"Detective Rizzoli," Suzie replied warmly. "Can I help you?"

"Have you seen M- Dr Isles?"

Suzie frowned. "She's at a meeting."

"Oh," Jane felt her shoulders sag.

"The homicide meeting," Suzie elaborated.

Jane's head snapped upwards from where it had been staring at her feet. "Huh?" She asked ineloquently.

"Dr Isles received an internal email about it this morning. You better hurry."

"Yeah. Thanks!" Jane yelled over her shoulder as she ran to the lift, still juggling the two coffees in her hands.

* * *

><p>Jane ran into the bullpen, stopping in surprise when she saw it almost empty.<p>

"Yo, Gomez, where is the meeting?" She yelled at one of the older detectives.

"Conference room. You're late Rizzoli."

Jane didn't even bother replying, heading quickly to the conference room. She couldn't remember ever being in the conference room, they only used it for high-risk briefings... such as those about Hoyt. This must be why Dean was in town. Jane slipped into the door silently; the female suit standing beside Dean didn't even pause in her introductions. The meeting didn't appear to be for all detectives, only those who Frost referred to as 'the A team'. Plus Crowe.

"Good morning detectives. I know this early morning isn't the ideal way to begin a Monday. I am special agent Christine Quinn, this is my partner special agent Gabriel Dean."

Jane found Maura sitting at the table, facing front, notepad and pen poised to take notes. _There's my nerd_, Jane thought affectionately.

Jane cleared her throat loudly, causing all eyes but Maura's to turn and look at her. She levelled her best death glare at the man to the left of Maura until he moved. Without missing a beat she slid into his now empty seat and placed the extra coffee in front of Maura, making sure the side with her name was facing her. She watched as Maura glanced at her out of the corner of her eyes before she reached out and gingerly took a sip.

Jane leaned back in her chair, prepared to zone out, feeling accomplished now that her friend appeared to have forgiven her enough to accept the offered coffee. Damn she was good. Of course, the next words from Dead almost caused her to fall off her chair and definitely caused Maura to choke on the mouthful of coffee she had just taken.

"Paddy Doyle has escaped custody," Dean said bluntly.

The room was silent for all of one minute.

"When?" Jane growled, standing to face Dean and pushing her chair back a bit to hard.

"Sunday night."

"You've been in town since Saturday," Jane accused, ignoring how that must have sounded to her fellow officers.

Dean nodded.

"You knew?" Jane growled again. "You knew he was going to escape and you didn't stop him? What are you suddenly gun-shy or something? You didn't have that problem last ti-"

Jane cut her off as she heard Maura's intake of breath. Jane quickly placed a hand on Maura's shoulder, squeezing.

"We had received word that there would be an escape attempt, yes."

"So you fucked up. Great. Now we have to deal with the fallout again. When I said I didn't have time for your need to know bullshit when it involved something that affects me, this is what I meant. Anything Paddy Doyle related directly affects me."

"Calm down Rizzoli," Cavanaugh ordered.

Jane opened her mouth, ignoring Cavanaugh and preparing for another attack on Dean until a small hand covered her scarred one on Maura's shoulder.

"Jane. Sit down and let them talk. We need to hear the details if we are going to... recapture him."

Jane slowly sunk back into her chair, feeling deflated.

"If you don't mind me asking," Maura began politely, "Why am I here? Is there a dead body?"

The two agents glanced at each other, silently communicating before the female began to speak for them both. "We feel as though your knowledge with the case and suspect will be quite beneficial. In fact that's why we are seeking assistance from the homicide division. Paddy Doyle is your case."

Maura nodded and focused her eyes onto the paper in front of her. Jane reached out a hand and linked it with Maura's as the two agents detailed Doyle's escape and disappearance.

* * *

><p>Jane and Maura stayed behind when everyone left the room, Jane still clinging to Maura's hand and Maura making no sign of movement herself.<p>

"Can I come over tonight Maur?" Jane asked, turning to face Maura without letting go.

"I don't know if that's a good idea Jane," Maura replied, eyes focused on the file in front of her.

"You don't want to talk about this?" Jane asked, gesturing to the board that showed Doyle's face.

Maura glanced at the image and away quickly. "No. He is the last thing I want to think about."

"OK. Then I... I want to explain what's been going on with me lately. Why I've been... you know," Jane tried to joke lightly.

Maura slowly dragged her eyes to Jane's face, as if it took a great amount of force. "I still need time."

Jane glanced down at their still joined hands. "I know you do... I'm not asking you to change your mind. I just... you said that you had some stuff to think about and I have some stuff to tell you that you're gonna need to think about so I was hoping that I would tell you and you could add it to your list of things to think about and it might even help you think..." Jane took a deep breath.

Maura blinked, her brain needing to take a second to process Jane's ramble. "That's the problem though Jane."

"What?"

"I've asked for time and you just aren't considering my feelings!" Maura snapped, feeling instantly guilty for her outburst. Maura sighed, finally pulling her hand away and giving herself some space. "I am so dependent on you that I feel like I don't have a life without you in it-"

"Maur-"

"No. Let me say this Jane," Maura snapped.

Jane shut her mouth with an audible snap.

"I am so anxious about losing you that I have found myself completely ignoring logic and my own... emotions... out of a somehow misguided attempt to keep you with me. I worry that if I honestly tell you how much you hurt me that you will think I am too much trouble and leave. I don't know what I would do if that happened. And so I forgive you and I pretend that you never broke my heart but then you do it again. I feel like you are trying to force me away from you at times but then suddenly you are back on my couch having a beer and watching the game. I'm not good at social situations and I am so confused as to what this is, what is happening. Am I even your best friend?"

"Of course you are Maura. You're my life-long best friend forever," Jane joked. "If you still want to be," Jane stared at Maura, hoping, praying, that the answer would be yes.

"I-is that all you see me as Jane? Your best friend?"

"What do you mean?" Jane gulped. Was Maura asking her if she was interested in her? How did she find out?

"I mean: when you look at me do you see Maura, your best friend, or do you see the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Maybe I'm the daughter of Constance and Richard Isles or the daughter of a mobster even. A doctor. Who am I?"

"You're all of those things Maura and more. You are beautiful, sweet, forgiving, so fucking smart. You're amazing. I wish I had your vocabulary so that I could explain how perfect you are to me."

Jane watched as Maura's eyes began to water. "Lately all I see when I look in the mirror is Jane's best friend."

"Is that so bad?" Jane asked, feeling a stabbing in her chest.

"When it's all I am... yes. I'm a person Jane. I need my own life."

"That's why you need space? To be alone for a while and find who you are?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry. I didn't appreciate you enough and now..."

Maura leaned forward and wiped a tear from Jane's cheek that the brunette didn't even feel fall. Jane felt her cheek burning well after Maura had removed her hand.

"I'm still coming over tonight."

"Jane-"

"I'll sit on the step with my sleeping bag; no surprise home invasions on my watch."

Maura smiled sweetly at Jane. "Don't be silly, you can use my sleeping bag, it's much warmer."

Jane gasped and then laughed, hard. "Good one Maura."

"I'll leave the porch light on," Maura smiled as she slowly got out of her seat and left Jane alone in her office, still lightly laughing at her friend's rare humour.

* * *

><p>Maura groaned tiredly as she dropped her bag and shoes just inside the door. Miss Etiquette from her childhood immediately screamed for her to put them away properly but she was just too tired to make the trek to her bedroom and reasoned that she could do it later.<p>

Maura quickly poured herself a wine and sunk down into a chair at the island. Today had probably been the worst of her professional career. Now that everyone was aware of her relationship to Doyle it seemed like they were all walking on eggshells around her, treating her as though she may break whenever they mentioned the various people he had killed. She had spent the entire day studiously avoiding bout Cavanaugh and Jane. The first due to guilt, he father had killed his wife and baby. The latter due to... confusion. Of course Jane chose today to remind Maura of why she had grown so fond of the brunette in the first place. All day Jane had been using humour to elevate the tension, placing warm and comforting hands on Maura's shoulders whenever the two were forced near each other and basically just protecting her in a way that only Jane could. _No, being Jane Rizzoli's best friend is certainly not a bad thing_, Maura thought.

Maura slowly rose to her feet and grabbed one of Jane's beers from the fridge and her own sleeping bag from the closest. With a giddy smile she place both on her doorstep and closed the door, making sure to not lock it in case Jane decided to actually come inside. She had just returned to her wine when she heard a car pull up outside, soon followed by deep, familiar laughter at her front door. She waited, holding her breath, to see if Jane would enter. After a few silent minutes she let a large smile cover her face. Jane was giving her the peace she had asked for, even if it wasn't what the Italian wanted.

Maura was stirred from her thoughts when the side door opened and Angela Rizzoli stepped into the kitchen.

"Is that my daughter impersonating a homeless person on your front step?" Angela asked with good humour.

Maura smiled warmly. "She's worried about me."

Angela nodded. "I heard about... your father."

Maura winced.

"My daughter is very protective of those she cares about."

Maura nodded, unsure of how to reply.

"You know I love you like a daughter don't you?" At Maura's nod Angela continued. "You gave me somewhere to stay when the man that should have supported me left me for a blonde floozy. You have made me daughter happier and... kinder than I ever thought possible."

"Angela-"

"Which means," Angela continued through Maura's interruption, "That I am here whenever you need to talk. No judgement. I love you."

Maura felt her eyes become wet with tears. She hadn't realised how desperate she actually was to talk about what she was feeling until Angela offered her that opportunity. "I'm not used to feeling this..."

"What?" Angela prodded softly.

"Emotions."

"Sweetie," Angela leaned across the counter and took both in Maura's hands into her own.

"My parents were... distant. Not neglectful but not very present. I was always a lonely child until..."

"Until you met Janie."

Maura nodded. "I had science. I had facts. And then suddenly she came and I found myself with friends, family, a home... I was prepared and I'm worried that I've lost myself."

"Why?"

"I no longer come home every night and lose myself in my medical journals. I no longer feel anxious when I need to deal with people. Instead I find myself craving that human interaction, at peace when I come home and find Jane and her brothers drinking beers on my couch, happy during drinks at the Robber. My life has changed so much that I don't recognise it anymore."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Maura peered at Angela through her lashes, tilting her head and thinking deeply. "That's what Jane asked me. I guess... What happens when I lose her?"

"What makes you think you will?"

"Casey... Dean..."

"Those morons!" Angela growled.

Maura let herself chuckle lightly. "One day Jane will find someone to love her how she deserves and then I really will be going to the cinemas by myself again."

Angela smiled warmly. She knew that her daughter had already found that person and it was something Maura shouldn't concern herself with but that wasn't her place and that wasn't really the problem here. "I'm always up for a movie. As is Frankie, Tommy, Barry, Vince, Sean... You have more than just Jane."

Angela watched as Maura's eyes lit up, as if she had never actually considered that. Suddenly Maura dropped again, eyes becoming sad. "They are only my friends because of Jane."

"You think that they'd leave you if she did?"

Maura nodded.

Angela stepped around the counter and pulled Maura into a hug. "Mothers don't leave daughters, neither do brothers. You are family. With or without Jane." _Hopefully with, _Angela added silently.

All sadness seemed to leave Maura at that. She pulled Angela into another uncharacteristic hug before moving into the kitchen to make dinner.

"I'm just going to check on the homeless person before I head back to the guest house."

"Thank you Angela."

"Anytime Maura."

* * *

><p>Jane looked up when she heard the door open and couldn't help the way her face fell when she saw it was her mother and not Maura.<p>

"Hey Ma," She said, trying to look glad to see her.

"Not who you expected?"

Jane shrugged and took another pull of her beer as Angela sat down next to her.

"What are you doing?"

"Drinking beer?" Jane replied with a frown.

Angela waved away her response. "Sitting on Maura's step with a beer and sleeping bag. What's that about?"

Jane shrugged again. "Don't worry Ma, I'll be fine. We don't actually expect him to go after her, if we did there'd be uni's parked outside. This is more for my benefit. I don't think I could sleep wondering if she was OK."

Angela nodded wisely, showing she understood more than Jane was actually saying.

"I love Maura like a daughter you know."

Jane smiled. "Yeah Ma, I know."

"I care about her."

"I know."

"So when someone hurts her, it hurts me. Even when that person doing the hurting actually is my daughter."

Jane closed her eyes, trying to block out the guilt. "I know."

"She's a bit too forgiving. Considering how often she has been hurt."

"I know."

"I just spoke to her about it all."

Jane's eyes flew open and her head whipped to look at her mother. "Ma-"

"Before you accuse me of being nosy hear me out. She needed someone to talk to, a mother or a friend. So do you."

Jane grunted and quickly down the rest of her beer.

"What you're feeling... it's OK to feel those things Janie," Angela said softly and carefully.

Jane rubbed a hand angrily through her hair. "How can it be Ma? Jesus. We're Catholic. How can you sit here and tell me that it's OK to dream about your female best friend, that it's OK to want to touch her, that it's OK to feel like dying every time that you do. I could just sit all day and stare at her, listen to her. Her laugh, her Google-mouth. It's Maura Ma, this isn't OK."

"Janie it is-"

"Ma-"

"Listen Jane Clementine Rizzoli," Angela grabbed her daughter's face between her hands and held it tightly, forcing eye contact. "It is OK to feel this. Don't disappoint me by letting all the comments, all the teasing that I know you have dealt with daily your entire life take you over. You need to fight. If you don't you will lose that girl in there and you will lose yourself. I understand if you can't tell her how you feel but please don't hide from yourself any longer. You are my baby Jane Clementine Rizzoli. And you are gay."

Jane felt her heart and resolve shatter. She just let her head and her shoulders and all of her fight drop as she truly accepted those words. She felt an uncontrollable tidal-wave of tears and emotions force themselves out of her eyes as she clung to her mother.

For her part Angela clung just as tightly, stroking her hair and back and murmuring assurances into the top of her head.

After a life-time Jane finally pulled back and with a vulnerable strength she looked her mother straight in the eyes. "I am Jane Rizzoli and I am gay."

Angela nodded and pulled her into another, shorter hug. "And you love Maura."

"And I am in love with Maura."

Angela nodded, a smile reaching from ear to ear. "I will support you in anyway that you need."

"Thanks Ma."

"I love you baby."

"I love you too... Ma... Is it alright if... I just..."

"You need to be alone?"

Jane breathed out, deeply. "Yeah."

"No problems sweetie. Have a good night. Be safe."

Jane watched as Angela disappeared back into the house. She felt a smile slowly make its way to her face. She felt free and light, like all the weight from her entire life, from Hoyt, from Joey Grant, from Casey, from every single person who called her a dyke was gone. She could finally admit who she was. That happiness only doubled as she heard the door open behind her and finally saw the one person that she always wanted to be behind every door appeared.

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><p><strong>End chapter 6 (the first half anyway).<strong>


	7. Chapter 6 - Part 2

**_A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the wait, I've been flat out with work and the release of the new Hunger Game movie (whoo!). Honestly… I hate this chapter… I knew where I was going with this story and I knew that this chapter needed to do it… I both really want to just scrap this entire thing and start again by spreading it out and slowing it down but I don't know if even that would fix it… I hope it doesn't disappoint you guys too much! The next chapter is better… this one just wouldn't work :( This one just seems wayyy too light on Rizzles and dialogue. _**

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><p><em>Jane watched as Angela disappeared back into the house. She felt a smile slowly make its way to her face. She felt free and light, like all the weight from her entire life, from Hoyt, from Joey Grant, from Casey, from every single person who called her a dyke was gone. She could finally admit who she was. That happiness only doubled as she heard the door open behind her and finally saw the one person that she always wanted to be behind every door appeared.<em>

Jane watched with a small but warm smile as Maura juggled a tray of food and drinks while opening the door. It was moments like this when Jane was reminded of her best friend's sophisticated upbringing. She probably had a class all about balancing a tray of perfectly set out china and glass with only one hand.

Jane reached backwards and pulled the door closed as Maura placed the tray on the ground. She could see two bowls and a wine and beer on that tray and used her cop gut to assume Maura was planning to stay outside with her. Even if she wasn't... well the door would just make it a couple seconds harder for her to run away.

Maura handed Jane a bowl full of delicious smelling soup. Jane was well aware of Maura's preference of soup when she was busy thinking things over in her mind.

Jane picked up a spoon and took a big slurp, smirking as she saw Maura fail at hiding her grimace. The brunette let silence float between the two as they swallowed their soup. She had plenty to say but she wanted to let Maura set the tone. Her friend's face had been closed off since she had exited the house and Jane was struggling to figure out her emotions.

"The sleeping bag was a joke you know... or at least an attempt at one," Maura frowned into her soup, vulnerability shining in her eyes.

Jane felt her heart squeeze with guilt. She knew how hard social interactions for her friend with everyone except for Jane... until Jane well and truly screwed it all up this week. "I knew it was a joke Maur. It was a good one." Jane bumped Maura's shoulder lightly with her own.

"Really?"

Jane smiled warmly. Maura was looking up at her with nothing but hope, really wishing that her joke had been funny. "I laughed, remember?"

Maura smiled shyly and dropped her head again.

"I just... space, you know?" Jane tried, struggling to find the right words as to why she had chosen Maura's front step over the comfy couch.

Maura quickly glanced at Jane before focusing on her now empty bowl.

"Have you, um, been thinking much?" Jane said, rubbing a hand at the back of her neck.

Maura smiled softly but kept her eyes down. "Yes. Your mother is very good at giving advice."

_Looks like Ma has helped me more than once tonight_, Jane thought. "Yeah she is... I here too, you know. If you want to do anymore talking or something."

Maura turned her upper body towards Jane, making prolonged eye contact for the first time.

Jane turned her body as well, trying to show Maura that she was open and one hundred per cent there for her, only to be crushed when Maura shook her head softly.

"Oh," Jane sighed, moving to turn away.

Maura reached out a hand, grabbing Jane's hand and entwining their fingers before Jane could turn away. "I do want to say thank you though Jane."

"Thank you?"

Maura nodded. "I have changed since I met you-"

"I'm sor-"

"In a good way. You have shown me this new world. I have friends for the first time, family. I can communicate with more than the dead. I worry about the safety of others during the day and at night. I feel more at home when it's full that I ever felt growing up. I would prefer a night with wine at the Dirty Robber over a night watching a documentary alone. I have changed, but it's not a bad thing Jane. I think I was just struggling with what would happen if I lost you and I had to go back to my old life-"

"You'll never lose me," Jane said firmly, no room for argument.

"I hope not. I... I don't even want to think about losing you, but... losing you doesn't mean that I would go back to being that lonely girl. I would still have friends and I would still have family. Which is why I need to tell you something Jane. You hurt me this week, really, truly hurt me."

Jane felt tears force themselves into her eyes at the honesty and pain in her friend's words. "I know I did Maura."

"There is obviously something you have been struggling with this week and instead of talking to me, or your family, you chose to take your anger out on me at our place of work. I would do anything for you Jane. Honestly, there isn't one thing you could tell me or ask me to do that would change how I feel about you but next time-"

"There won't be a next time," Jane said firmly again.

"Good. Because I don't know if I could survive if you ever hurt me like this again."

Jane nodded. There were no words she could say. She knew that Maura had just completely forgiven her, that there would be nothing more to say about this week. She knew that she didn't deserve someone like Maura. She also knew that right now Maura needed a best friend, not some weirdly-obsessed friend admitting her deep admiration and love. Jane looked into Maura's eyes. No. Her confession would wait... forever if need be. Right now Maura needed Jane the friend.

Maura smiled tiredly and stood up, collecting the empty bowls, beer bottles and wine glass and opening the door to head back inside. "There are fresh sheets on the bed in the guest room and a fresh towel."

Jane smiled up at her friend but stayed sitting. She knew that she would also find her clothes in the drawers and closest in that room. Maura always washed them whenever they ended up at her house and seemed to collect in the guest room. Jane's room. After taking a deep breath of fresh air Jane moved into the house, making sure to lock the door after herself.

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><p>The next four weeks were both the worst and best of Jane's life. Everyday after work she would drive Maura home, have dinner together, watch a movie, and stay the night. In the morning they would wake up to breakfast courtesy of Angela Rizzoli before Jane drove them both to work. Jane felt the tension evaporate, as her friendship grew impossibly stronger in the constant contact. She loved going to sleep to Maura and waking up to her... even if it was torturous not being able to touch Maura like she wanting, not even being able to share a bed. She wanted Maura like she had never wanted anyone... but Maura needed a friend... especially as her father began to make Boston burn.<p>

The days at work grew longer and more tiring with every mob killing and every dead-end lead. The FBI had sent two more FBI agents when Cavanagh had been forced to cut down the team he had working the Doyle case. Even after a month they were no closer. Doyle was hidden somewhere and all the other crime families knew he was out. They had been expecting some mob fighting in the struggle for Doyle to come back to power but they hadn't anticipated the all out cull that had occurred. From what they would tell there were four families involved. Doyle's were number one and responsible for most of the deaths. They were in charge. Number two were the Leery's. They had taken top spot when Doyle had been in prison and weren't too happy about losing it. Number three were the Callaghan's. Mick Callaghan had taken over for Doyle in his absence and hadn't taken kindly to be dethroned on the return of the king. He had absconded with half of Doyle's men and Doyle appeared hell-bent on 'taking care' of the traitors. The fourth family were still unidentified. They appeared to be new and working for someone from out of town but no one had been able to get much information on them.

Jane hated it. The longer it took to find Doyle and stop this, the longer Maura would be in danger. All it took was for someone to decide to come after Doyle's soft spot and Maura was done. Jane wasn't a fool, she knew that at the least Micky Callaghan would know of how Doyle felt about Maura. Maura's paternity had been in the news, Jane knew, she just hoped that most believed Doyle was cold enough to not care about his child. Jane was also aware of the FBI's tail on Maura, believing that Doyle may try to contact her. Jane just wanted it to be done so that her friend could breath again.

Jane sat back in her chair and stared at the murder board. The tally had reached double figures by the second week. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, turning and pulling out the report from the most recent murder. Maybe one more read would somehow miraculously show her where Doyle was hiding. Before settling in for a few more hours of reading Jane roamed her eyes around the bullpen, seeking out the honey haired ME. Maura had practically relocated her office upstairs. If it wasn't Jane constantly checking on her then it was the FBI pulling her in for private meetings. Jane had asked her friend about them but had only been told that they were attempting to ensure her safety. Jane hadn't seen any hives but she knew that it wasn't the entire truth. She sighed when she saw Maura sitting with the feds in the corner again. Jane stretched and focused on the papers in front of her.

"Jane?"

Jane's neck snapped up at her friend's voice, cracking loudly after it had been in the same position for too long. She hadn't noticed her friend walk over. "Yeah Maur?" She asked, wiping at her tired eyes.

"I need to talk to you."

Jane scanned her friend. Maura had one foot tucked behind the other, her hands were crossed in front of her body as if she was seeking comfort by hugging herself, her eyes were flicking nervously throughout the room. Something was very wrong. Jane glanced at the papers in her hands, she had about two more pages. "Gimme 5 minutes and we'll leave."

Maura bit her lip. "It's really important."

Jane nodded. "Ma has a lasagne for us. Can you go grab it and I'll meet you down there?" Jane could sense Maura's hesitation but this wasn't something she wanted to get into at work.

Maura frowned and tried once more. "I really need to talk to you Jane."

"I know Maur. I don't wanna do it here, just gimme a sec to get ready, OK? I'll meet you downstairs?"

Jane frowned in confusion as she saw Maura on the verge of tears.

Maura nodded, seeming to resign herself to the fact that Jane wasn't budging. "Goodbye Jane," Maura gave a watery smile before turning to leave.

"Maur-" Jane stood, about to follow when Dean stepped in front of her.

"Jane. I need to ask your opinion on something."

"Not right now, I need to-"

"Jane this is important, I think it could be the lead we've been waiting for," Dean pleaded.

Jane's eyes flicked between Dean and Maura, still waiting for an elevator. If this lead was what Dean thought then maybe... Maura needed her. She needed the friend and the cop. Jane turned to Dean, her Ma would be able to keep Maura distracted for at least one minute.

"One minute."

Maura glanced back and saw Jane focusing on something in Dean's hand. Maura decided to chance it and quickly moved to the door of Cavanaugh's office. She reached a small hand into a designer handbag, pulling out an envelope. She slipped it under the door just as the elevator doors slid open. Maura slipped in, eyes focusing on Jane as the doors closed.

Jane removed herself from Dean as soon as 60 seconds had been reached. Dean's 'lead' wasn't anything new and Jane felt her gut telling her that Dean knew that. She just couldn't figure out why he had been so determined to speak to her. Jane rushed down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. All she could see was Maura's sad face and she knew she needed to rush. She ran flat out into the cafe, scanning every face for the doctor. She found her mother.

"Ma! Where's Maura?" She basically yelled.

"Maura? I haven't seen her today. Why? Is everything alright?"

Jane felt panic flood her veins. Maura's face... she'd been trying desperately to say something... and she hadn't gone to the cafe like Jane had said...

_Goodbye Jane_, Maura's last words echoed in Jane's mind.

With wide, panicked eyes Jane turned and ran out of the cafe. She glanced at the elevators and scanned the room, using all of her cop training for clearing rooms. Her eyes fell on the doors. No, Maura wouldn't be so stupid as to go outside.

Jane ran outside, looking up and down the street, spinning around, and feeling more and more out of control. Her eyes saw shadows between every car, down every alley. No Maura.

"Maura!" Jane yelled. Where was she?

"Jane!"

Jane spun. It had been faint but she was sure she had heard Maura yelling her name. Jane began to run in the direction she had heard it from. She couldn't see anything. Had she imagined it?

"Maura!" She yelled again, not even slowing her pace. "Maura!"

In the corner of her eye she saw a car moving too fast down the street. Jane's gut churned, this wasn't right.

The car was pure black in the night. Tinted windows. Jane couldn't make out anyone driving. The car only seemed to drive faster as it neared her.

"Jane!"

That time it had been as clear as day. Jane turned her head. There it was. Maura's Prius. Maura's Prius? They had taken Jane's car to work, why would Maura's car be there? Jane could just make out someone in the front seat, someone with honey locks.

"Maura!" Jane yelled, taking off at a run.

She was too slow, too far away. Jane could only watch, running as fast as she possibly could, as a passenger in the black car threw something out of a window as it passed Maura's Prius. Jane was so close that she could feel the flames as she was forced off her feet and thrown backwards at the force off the explosion. Her head hit the concrete with a sick smack and the rest was black.

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><p><strong>AN: Yeah… sorry it's not great :( Also, if I don't post anything until next Saturday it's because I won't have any internet. I will try to find a way around it but… see you next week!**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Almost there. Only a couple more chapters :) Let me know what you think of this one :)**

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><p>Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...<p>

Jane felt heavy. It felt like an elephant was sitting on her head. She felt blank. No thoughts seemed to be moving through her head, it was empty.

Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...

It was loud, overwhelming, consuming... and familiar. So damn familiar. She tried to force her brain to connect that sound so a name but all she could focus on was the constant beeping and the black. Why was it so dark? There were no shapes, no light...

Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...

So fucking familiar. Hospital. The realisation seemed to jolt her entire body. How many times in her life had she woken up in hospital? Even before she became a cop.

_Heart monitor... it's only dark because my eyes are closed... the heavy feeling would be the sedative... why am I in hospital?_

Jane tried to force her eyes open, hoping that there would be someone beside her bed to explain everything. Explain everything in a very logical and medical way in which she would have no understanding but god, that as long as she could hear that voice she would be ok.

"Maura..." Jane's mouth barely moved and the word wasn't even audible. "Maura," Jane tried again, trying to make the woman she knew would be beside her bed aware of the fact that she was waking up.

She felt the bed jostle and a slight sensation on her fingers. It felt wrong, both too tight and not tight enough. "Maura?" She said with hesitation this time.

"Oh sweetie, you're awake," A faint voice travelled to her, it sounded so far away.

That wasn't Maura. No. She wanted Maura. "Maura." Where is she?

"Frankie, get the doctor, she's waking up. Janie, honey I'm right here."

"Maura."

"She's waking up?" Another voice had entered Jane's mind. It sounded cold, controlled. Just like Maura when she was talking to her socialite acquaintances.

"Maura." Maybe this new voice knew Maura.

"Has she opened her eyes?" The voice asked.

"No. She just keeps saying M-," A sob cut off the first voice.

"Is she OK?" Another new voice asked. She knew this one... Frankie.

"She's been in a very deep coma; it will take some time for her to be completely lucid and conscious."

"Will she..." That first voice trailed off... That was Ma.

"Remember?" Asked that cool voice. "It's impossible to know. With injuries like this there is often short-term memory loss. Even if she did suffer from this it may return with time. Brain damage affects every person differently."

"I hope she never remembers." That was Frankie again.

"How do we tell her?" Her Ma.

"You should wait until she is completely lucid. Her body isn't yet stable enough to be able to survive the emotional toil that information may take," Said the cool voice.

_What does that mean?_

Jane tried to piece together everything she had heard but failed as her brain delved back into deep fog and her mind again became blank.

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><p><em>Open your eyes Jane, <em>Jane coached herself as she felt herself awakening for the second time. _Open your damn eyes and look for Maura. She is there, just open your goddamn eyes._

It worked. With the strength of a Rizzoli Jane forced her eyes open. It wasn't much but it was enough to feel the sharp pain of light enter her pupils.

_Good Jane. Good start. Do it again._

Slowly and with effort Jane's eyes slide open. Everything was too bright and too foggy.

_Blink. Blink. Good. Better. Blink. Blink._

The room came into focus. There were white sheets, small TV, plain walls, lots of flowers and cards, machines - a hospital. Jane looked to her left. Her mother was clutching her hand and was sleeping half in the chair, half on the bed. Frankie was on the floor between the door and her mother. Jane looked to her left. There. A small lump hidden under a blanket in the other chair in the room. Jane couldn't see a face or hair but she knew it was Maura, it had to be, Maura wouldn't leave her in hospital alone. Well... not alone, her mother and brother were there... but since they became friends Maura had always stood vigil during her hospital visits.

"Maura." Her throat was quiet and scratchy from disuse.

Jane swallowed, wincing as she felt how dry and cottony her mouth was. She coughed, trying to clear it.

"Maura," She tried again. It was louder but the lump still didn't move. She bit her lip and with all of her limited energy, "Maura!"

That had the intended effect.

In the corner of her eye she saw Frankie jolt upright and she felt her mother sit up but she didn't turn away, her eyes focused on the lump as it pulled the blanket down.

"Tommy?" Jane gasped.

_No. No. No. No. Where's Maura?_

"Hey Janie," Tommy smiled as he moved closer to the bed.

Jane turned her wide eyes on her mother. Her mother had been crying. A lot. "Maura?" Jane asked.

Angela winced and dropped her head.

Jane focused her eyes on Frankie this time. She could read Frankie almost as well as she could read Maura. "Where's Maura?"

Frankie swallowed audibly, his eyes darting around the room and anywhere but Jane, eventually settling on one of the many cards by the window.

Jane followed his focus, looking at the same card.

_Deepest sympathies for your loss._

"What loss?" She asked out loud, her voice much clearer but her brain still moving slowly. "What loss?" She asked again, desperate, when no one answered her.

She looked at every person in that room. They were crying. All of them. She was fine, she was awake and talking. Why would they be crying? They weren't just crying though... they looked defeated, ruined, as if someone they loved had died. Tommy. Frankie. Ma. Who could have died that would hurt them all in this way? Other than Jane who did they have in common?

_Deepest sympathies for your loss._

The card was on HER window sill. In HER hospital room. It was HER loss. Other than the people in the room she only had one person that would be 'her loss'.

_No. No. No. NO!_

Jane's eyes flew around the room, looking for an overly expensive jacket, a designer purse, too high heels... nothing... she wasn't here.

"Maura?"

If she wasn't sure her mother's face confirmed it.

Jane gasped. Her heart shattered. And then her throat closed.

Beep-beep-beep-beep.

_That's my heart. I can't breathe. _

Jane clawed at her throat and chest, trying to force her body to start working.

Spots filled her eyes. She could see blurry white figures rush into the room. Then she saw nothing as her eyes rolled back and she collapsed.

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><p>Jane felt like she was out of her body. She had fallen into what could only be hell. There was no time here. There was no joy. All she could feel was pain, her heart was being ripped from her chest. She floated in the darkness as she watched the same scene play over and over. She watched Maura beg her to leave. She watched herself say no. She watched Maura cry and go. She watched Dean distract her. She watched herself run to the cafe and then run outside. And then she watched Maura explode and it started again. Over and over. No change. And her heart was ripped out of her chest every time.<p>

Jane felt herself being pulled back into consciousness just as the images started again at the beginning.

_No._

She didn't want to leave. She knew that Maura was dead and no matter the pain it was causing, at least in this place would could see her, be with her. Jane focused on Maura, knowing this would be the last time she would see more than pictures. This time, when Dean distracted the other Jane she focused on Maura, wanting to burn every detail she could into her memory. Every step, every movement. Every step and movement as she walked to Cavanaugh's office and slid an envelope under the door? What was that?

"Maura," was the first thing she said as she came to for the third time.

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><p>Jane sat on her couch, bottle in hand. Empty bottle in hand. She'd been in the hospital for two weeks. They'd released her in time for Maura's funeral. She hadn't gone. She'd mixed her pain meds with a whole bottle of Jack Daniels and passed out on her kitchen floor. She knew she should feel guilty for missing her best friends funeral but she couldn't... the daily bottle of rum was certainly helping.<p>

She'd been out of hospital for a week and was set to return to work the next day, desk duty only. She knew it was too early. Cavanaugh, Frost and Korsak new it was too early. Her Ma had certainly made her point that it was too early. But everyone knew that she needed it. She had nothing else but work at this point. No one had told her the details, no one had needed to. She knew was responsible for this. It may have been a flunkie of Callaghan's that threw the bomb but it was Doyle who had given them reason to. Doyle had killed her soul mate and she would kill him. Starting tomorrow.

Jane felt her head droop. Maybe she shouldn't have had the JD and pain meds today.

* * *

><p>Jane stared at her reflection in the elevator. Her hair hadn't been brushed in at least 3 weeks. Her clothes weren't ironed and were most likely still dirty. Yep, there was a coffee stain down the front. Her eyes were bloodshot and wide with deep purple bags. Her face was pale and thin, bones sticking out unhealthily. Her belt was three notches tighter and her clothes were baggy. She looked every bit the ruined woman.<p>

She tried to ignore the stares and whispers as she made her way to the desk. She focused her eyes ahead, determined not to let the voices in. It worked... until she saw the murder board. All the pictures of mobsters had been taken down. All the notes and comments were removed. There was only one thing on that board. A picture of Maura. Jane recognised it immediately. It had been taken by Frost one night at the Robber. Maura had been laughing at something Jane had said and Frost had snapped it. It was one of Jane's favourites.

"Shit Janie, I'm sorry," Korsak grunted from behind her, quickly standing and moving to pull it down.

"No!" Jane snapped, reaching out a hand to stop him. "Leave it."

Korsak nodded and moved back to his desk, eyes focused on Jane.

"Alright. What have we got?" She asked.

It was the right words, but it was nowhere near the same.

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><p><strong>AN: Glad I got this one out, less of a cliffhanger than the last. As I said: I will have no internet until next Saturday. Maybe I'll have some fabulous reviews to read when I finally get it back :) Love you all. **


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys… I'm back… and on my birthday as well! Sorry about the hiatus but my internet is back and perfect. This only has one more chapter and an epilogue :) I've got some one-shots that I will put up when this is finished BUT I've started work on an AU fic which I'm really interested in atm. **

**As always, I don't own Rizzoli and Isles or the characters but please let me know what you think. **

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><p>Korsak and Frost were still catching Jane up on the progress - or lack of progress - they had made in her absence, when Cavanaugh walked into his office.<p>

"One sec guys, just needa have a word with Cav."

Frost stared at Jane, mouth open from being stopped mid-sentence while Korsak just shrugged.

"Come in!" Cavanaugh called as Jane knocked on his door.

"Rizzoli, take a seat," he said warmly.

Jane sat on the edge of her seat, rubbing her scarred palms together nervously.

"What do you need?" Cavanaugh broke the silence when he realised that Jane wouldn't.

"Listen sir..." Jane sighed, letting her voice trail off.

"Rizzoli?" Cavanaugh encouraged.

"I know you're tryin' to protect me from not lettin' me read it but I need ta. I wnt to see what she said."

Cavanaugh was silent for a moment. "I don't understand."

"I hate that I didn't go with her when she needed to speak and I need that letter... just to know I couldn't have stopped it."

"What letter?"

"C'mon Cav," Jane growled. "I know she pushed it under your door."

"Dr Isles?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"The night..."

"I don't know what to say Jane," Cavanaugh said softly, standing from his seat and moving to lean against the front of his desk. "I don't have a letter."

Jane scanned Cavanaugh's face and saw only honesty. Without a word she jumped up and sped back to the bullpen, barely noticing Cavanaugh right behind her.

"Frost. Pull up the footage from the camera outside the lieutenant's office."

"Date?" Frost asked knowing better than to question his partner when she got like this.

"June third."

"Janie," Korsak said as Frost quickly pulled up the footage.

"Not now Korsak," Jane snapped. "Start at 9.15 pm."

Frost quickly jumped the footage and pressed play. At 9.18 all four watched as Maura slipped a letter under the door and left. Al eyes turned to Sean.

"It wasn't there at 10 when I was called in after..."

Frost nodded and pressed fast forward, stopping when a figure approached the door, picked the lock and took the letter, all with his back to the camera.

"Hoodie over suit pants... he knew the camera was there... OK so he gets in the building and no one sees him?" Jane frowned.

"Unless he was already here," Korsak comments.

"Yeah!" Jane nods enthusiastically as her brain connects the dots. "The suit paints. He's here working, sees Maura with the letter, waits for everyone to rush outside after the explosion, slips on the hoodie, steals the letter, takes the hoodie off and goes back to work. Fuck!"

"It's a cop," Frost concluded.

"A cop would know to get rid of the evidence," Korsak commented.

"I'll never know what she wanted to say. Dammit!" Jane yelled as she picked up the nearest thing - Frost's empty coffee mug - and flung it across the room where it hit a wall and smashed loudly.

"Rizzoli," Cavanaugh warned.

Jane spun around breathing hard and stormed out of the room, not feeling any tension ease until she was home and halfway through yet another bottle of J.D.

* * *

><p>Jane didn't wake until 3pm the next day after drinking herself unconscious. Her first thoughts were all m-rated but her second was that the only way to take the pain away was with more pills and booze. So she did.<p>

* * *

><p>BANG! BANG! BANG!<p>

"Arrr," Jane grumbles, forcing her eyes open. Everything is blurry and spinning. Her eyes squeeze closed.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The squad vibrates the door and Jane's skull. She feels dizzy and disorientated. She makes it to the door. With a deep breath she unlocks it and turns the handle, letting the other person open it.

"You are alive," says a gruff voice she can't quite place. he squints at him and only sees a blur.

"No one has heard a word from you for days. Your Ma has been by daily but you took her key. She figured I could at least break down your door if you didn't answer it." The voice sounded pissed.

"Frost?"

Frost sighed, really taking in Jane's appearance and feeling sympathy. "You're a mess Jane."

Jane just shrugged, wincing as she jostled her head.

"If you'd answered your phone you could have been saved this...Go have a shower, I'll get you coffee and food."

"Leave me alone Frost," Jane sighs as she moves back towards the couch.

"Stop cutting me out! Yes, Maura is gone. It sucks. But you are alive and this," he points at the bottles on the floor, "would kill her all over again to see."

"Don't even pretend to know what I'm feeling. You've got no fucking clue."

Frost let his eyes scan over his partner, taking a step towards her and nodding. "I do. I'm a detective Jane. You trained me. You're in love with her."

Jane completely deflats at his words and sinks down on the couch with her eyes closing. "Yeah... so just leave me be."

"Fine. Then I'll keep her letter to myself."

Jane's eyes flicked open, focusing immediately on the white envelope with Maura's precise writing. "You found it," she whispered, not trusting her voice fully.

"Yes. So get in the shower. Eat. Drink."

Jane was desperate to reach out and grab it but she knew she was in no state to. With a quick nod she made her way to shower.

After a hurried shower Jane began to feel much more human, except for the pounding headache. Luckily, as soon as she entered her newly cleaned living room Frost presented her with some Panadol, water, coffee and dry toast. She ate and drank in silence. Once everything was empty and her headache dulled Frost slid her the envelope.

With a delicate and shaking hand she opened it and pulled out the crisp, delicate papers. With a deep breath she began to read the neat, handwritten words.

**Dearest Jane,**

**If you are reading this then, as cliché as it sounds, I'm dead. It also means I was unsuccessful in my attempt to explain this to you. I sincerely hope that it wasn't simply because I couldn't find the, as you would say, testicles.**

_Balls Maura, _Jane corrected with a smile.

**I am so sorry if this has hurt you, that was never my intention. Jane, please don't hate me for what I am about to say. I am not actually dead. Unless, of course, the plan didn't succeed in which case I am incredibly for the false hope this letter may provide. I'm also grateful for the chance to provide you with closure. As you are aware I have been forced into private interrogations with Federal Agents over the last few weeks. Christine was the first to mention witness protection. I have complete and utter faith that you will protect me, don't doubt that. I have made this decision for your safety. You always have and always will put your life ahead of mine. I don't want to live in a world without you Jane so I can't let you do that.**

**Christine found me in the bathroom yesterday and revealed that it is an agent working for the crime family that we have been unable to identify. She is worried that any attempt for me to enter witness protection would lead to an attempt on my life. She also fears he might come after you.**

**So I have done the only logical thing that I could think of; I used the black phone to contact Paddy Doyle. He will arrange to 'fake my death' and arrange protection for me in a hidden, safe location.**

**There is a high probability that this hasn't worked. In which case... I have a confession.**

**Jane, I love you. You are the best friend, first friend, which I have ever had. You are home to me. There are so many things that I wish to say to you but if I even tried then I don't think I would have the courage to leave you. Even thinking about being apart from you gives me an overwhelming pain in my chest. But I am doing this to protect you, and to hopefully return to you.**

**I am entirely, deeply, in love with you my gorgeous friend.**

**From the bottom of my heart, I am yours.**

**Maura Isles.**

Frost had watched, wide-eyed, as Jane had begun to sob fiercely, clutching the letter and blinking like crazy to keep reading as words blurred but nothing would stop her from reading every word Maura had left.

It was at least half an hour later when Jane pulled the letter o her chest, as if she was trying to hug whatever had been written. She slowly raised her eyes to Frost.

"Maura's alive," she whispered as a large smile forced its way onto her face.

"Huh?" was all Frost could say.

"She's alive!" Jane jumped, actually jumped, and began almost dancing around the room. In Jane's excitement she accidentally dropped one sheet of paper. Frost quickly scooped it up, trying to understand what had happened. After scanning the page he began to smile as well. He blushed as he held it back out to Jane. She snatched it as soon as she saw it.

"Sorry... so that didn't tell me why you think Maura is alive."

Jane glanced at the sheet he'd held, noticing it was only the page where Maura admitted her feelings, and blushed as well. "Paddy helped her fake her death because she knew that there was a dirty cop."

"So she wrote you that letter..."

"She tried to tell me in person but Dean distracted me."

Frost stared at Jane, face serious. "Dean is the one who stole the letter."

Jane nodded, her detective mind linking it all together. "And he was the one that shot Paddy and first mentioned the book to me. God! How did I not see it?"

"You were distracted by love for your Dr," Frost smirked, trying to lighten the mood

"Shut it," Jane said, smiling even as she punched him in the arm.

"How are we gonna get your girl back?"

"I've gotta talk to Cavanaugh..."

* * *

><p>The next day Jane woke up in bed, showered, and went to work with a clear head for the first time that she could remember. She headed straight to Cavanaugh's office, bypassing the bullpen. She knocked lightly and quickly and pushed into the room before he even answered.<p>

"We gotta talk," she said roughly as she clicked the door closed behind herself.

A loud bang filled the bullpen. All eyes turned towards the cause of the sound. Jane Rizzoli had slammed Lieutenant Sean Cavanaugh's office door. The sound of her stomping footsteps was the only noise that filled the room. Without making eye contact with anyone Jane pulled her gold badge from her belt, her gun already absent. With a feral growl Jane spun and threw it at the wall where it crashed loudly and fell to the floor. The action seemed to please Jane's anger because she quickly turned on her desk, throwing everything to the floor. Soon her computer was in a smashed heap on top of all of her paperwork.

"Rizzoli! I have ordered you to leave this building!" Cavanaugh yelled as he appeared in the room.

"I don't take any fucking orders from you anymore."

"You're fired Rizzoli. If you want to add charges to that keep going."

"Fuck you! Fuck you all!" Jane turned as if to leave but her eyes caught the picture hung to the whiteboard. The beautiful honey hair. Shining hazel eyes. Maura. Jane moved quickly and grabbed the photo. She had plenty but no one in that room deserved to look at the picture of perfection. No one. Not even her. She ripped the picture in half and then half again, letting the pieces drop to the floor. She pushed the whiteboard so that it fell over.

"Rizzoli!"

"Alright!" Jane stormed out of the room, bypassing the elevator and running down the stairs.

No one moved.

"Korsak. Frost. Get to work."

"Sean-" Korsak started.

"No Vince. You need to find the person who caused this shit storm. Jane isn't coming back. She's done. Do this for Dr Isles."

Korsak nodded.

Frost sighed and stood. He moved to the whiteboard and righted it. He picked up the torn picture, grabbed some tape and added it back to the board. It was almost poetic; Maura's image torn into four, resembling the hearts of every person that knew her.

"Don't worry doc, we'll find your killer."

Korsak glanced quickly at Dean, smirking to himself as he read Dean's shocked but happy expression. Perfect.

* * *

><p><strong>End chapter 8 :)<strong>


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: So this is it… the last chapter. There is an ****epilogue to come but it hasn't been written yet as I've only recently decided that it needs something more to finish it off. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me from the beginning. I'm hoping my second fanfic (which I will be starting as soon as this one is completed) will be better. I'll give more details about that when I post the epilogue. Thanks again Rizzles fans! I'm now on the Rizzles Facebook page too :)**

**I don't own Rizzoli and Isles. **

* * *

><p>Jane smiled as she walked up the stairs to her apartment for find Korsak, Frost and Cavanaugh waiting on her steps.<p>

"Where were you Rizzoli?" Cavanaugh asked.

Jane held up a small black phone. "I had something to pick up."

All talking stopped until they were safely at the counter in Jane's kitchen.

"What's the plan?" Frost asked. "'Cause I'm assuming that whole act was part of a plan and you weren't just actually fired."

"What would Cav do without his best detective?"

"Sleep easily," muttered Cavanaugh.

Jane laughed, the weight of the last few weeks gone, removed by Maura's letter. "It's a plan. Think about it. I have a relationship with Dean, he knows me and I know him. If he is really working for, or even running, this new mob then what is more appealing than a disgraced ex-detective who is both trusted by Doyle and has a massive hate-on for him?"

"You're thinking he's gonna try and recruit you?" Korsak smirked.

"Yep."

"Then we're gonna bust him!" Frost smiled, feeling his own enthusiasm building.

"But how does that help the Doc? I mean, it'll take out one player, maybe a whole family if he is in charge, but what about the other two?" Korsak frowns.

"That's what this is for," Jane said, holding up the phone.

"What's that Rizzoli," Cavanaugh says gruffly.

Jane glanced at the three men in her living room. "I need to save Maura. I need her back. This is the only way."

"Explain Rizzoli."

Jane sighed and pushed a hand through her hair. "This is a direct line to Doyle."

"Dammit Rizzoli!" Cavanaugh snapped. "You've had this the entire time and NEVER thought to hand it over? This could really be your badge this time!"

"Fine! If this makes me lose my badge then fine. I accept. I held this because every single day the situation got more and more out of control and Maura was in more and more danger. I knew that the time would come that I'd need to get Maura out and I needed Doyle to do that."

Korsak, Frost and Cavanaugh were silent, sharing glances and meaningful looks.

"So what... you're just gonna call Doyle and say, 'hey, can you take out the whole other family so Maura can come back?'" Frost tries to joke.

Jane shrugs. "I'm gonna tell him that we're taking out one family and he needs to take out the other."

"Rizzoli-"

"NOT like that. I'm still a cop. I'm gonna ask him to turn himself in."

"Take out his own family?"

Jane nods.

"You think he'd do that?" Korsak asks, frowning.

"I KNOW that he loves his daughter. But... I trust every person in this room so if any one of you says no, then I don't make this call. I need you all to back me up with this. I don't ask for help very often-"

"-Ever-" Korsak interrupts.

"-but I need this. Maura needs this."

Again Korsak, Frost and Cavanaugh share looks until each and every one of them slowly nods.

With a swallow to clear her throat Jane picks up the phone. It only rings once before a voice answers.

"Jane?"

Jane almost drops the phone out of shock when she hears the voice. "Maur?"

"Oh Jane."

Jane can hear the relief in the other voice. Tears begin to quickly form in her eyes. "You are alive."

"I'm so sorry Jane. I didn't know what else to do. Are you safe?"

"Don't be sorry Maur... God... don't... I'm fine, it's you I'm worried about."

"Don't. Paddy... he's helping me. I'm safe."

"Thank God. Maur, your letter-"

"Don't Jane. I know we need to have a conversation but I can't bear to hear you say it over the phone. I can't bear to hear it at all."

Jane feels her tears fall as she immediately understands that Maura fully believes she doesn't share her feelings. In that moment Jane forgets that there are three other people in her apartment. She forgets that Maura is in danger and hidden. She forgets that Maura is only on the phone. In that moment Maura is in front of her, holding a glass of wine and tilting her head as if she is trying to read Jane's mind with her brilliant scientific brain. In that moment it is only Jane and Maura.

"I love you Maura. I'm in love with you."

Maura is silent. Jane is silent.

"I love you too."

Jane feels her entire face filling with a massive smile. All she can do is hold the phone to her ear and listen to Maura breathing. She holds her own breath; thinking if she is quiet enough she can even hear her best friend's heartbeat.

"Jane?" Frost breaks her out of her silence with a start.

Jane looks at the floor, blushing furiously. "I got a plan Maura."

"What is it?"

"I need to talk to Paddy."

"Jane..."

"You gotta trust me Maur."

"I do."

Jane hears some faint voices and the familiar sound of Maura's heels come through the speaker. Suddenly a new voice is on the phone.

"Detective."

Jane straightens her back. It's game time. "Here's what you need to do Doyle..."

* * *

><p>It had been two painful days before Dean had contacted Jane. Two days spent sitting at home ignoring her desire to take pills and drink. Actually, she was at her apartment, not her home. She had quickly admitted to herself that Maura's house was her home. Home was where the heart is as they say. When Dean finally did call he had kept it personal and subtle, asking to meet in a private place to 'see how she was going' and to 'look into her options'. Jane was prepared. She knew what to say, she knew how to act, she knew what was on the line.<p>

Jane's head snapped towards the door as she heard the light but firm knocking. Her heart was racing. Everything depended on her ability to convince Dean that Maura was so important to her that she would give up her job, her freedom, her entire life. It wasn't too much of a stretch; Jane would give it all up for Maura, if it hadn't been for that letter she would have.

"Dean," Jane nodded gruffly as she pulled the door open. She was going to play this broken and wasted. Easy.

"Jane," Dean smiled back, very obviously evaluating Jane's appearance.

"Beer?"

Dean shook his head. Whatever he saw must have done the trick. "I want to get straight to this."

Jane inclined her head towards the seats at the kitchen. She wanted to keep more distance between them than her couch would allow.

Jane made a show of sighing as she sat, rubbing her temples and rotating her neck, exactly as she had when she had actually been hungover days before.

It was perfect.

"How much do you want to get Paddy?"

That was all the confirmation Jane needed. He was guilty. Of course she needed more on the tape before she could actually charge him. She allowed her anger at his betrayal to come to the surface, knowing Dean would interpret it as anger towards Doyle. He nostrils flared, her eyes tightened and her hands made fists.

"I want him dead. I want to put my gun against his head and pull the trigger. I want to pin a photo of Maura to his chest with an icepick, just like he did. I want him to know that he killed Maura, and I killed him."

Dean seemed surprised by Jane's words. For a second she worried that she'd gone too far. Honestly she'd just been honest. Those were her first thoughts when she was told that Maura was dead. For the first time in her life she understood murderers. In the right circumstance... Maura in danger... yes, she could kill.

Surprise turned into pleasure on Dean's face. "Good. I have a proposition for you. Interested?"

Jane squinted her eyes and closed her face off, aiming for suspicion. "Does it involve getting Doyle?"

"Yes," Dean smirked.

Jane folded her arms and leaned back, giving Dean enough rope to hang himself.

"There's a reason I knew Doyle would try an escape; I tipped him off. For years I worked my way up, and I worked hard, but I kept being passed over for promotion. I mean fucking Christine is MY supervisor and I've been in the agency for 10 years more than her! But after Doyle was shot and his book came into play I saw my opportunity."

Dean paused, taking one last second to read Jane's reaction before he came out with it. She hoped that he face was showing understanding and respect. It worked. This was almost too easy.

"I spent a few years giving 'favours'; letting small time criminals go and instead recruiting them. Who are you more loyal to that a cop that got you out of jail? I reached a problem though, my numbers weren't enough to take over from the family that had overturned Doyle's. I could take out Doyle's but not the Leery's. But I had a plan. If Doyle escaped then there'd be a battle, Doyle vs Leery. All I had to do was wait until they took each other out and walk in myself."

Dean stopped, waiting for a reaction from Jane.

"Good plan," Jane smirked. He'd given her plenty to charge him but she knew he wasn't done yet. He had one more nail to put in his coffin.

"I thought so. But Doyle seems to have more resources than I planned. It was taking too long..." Dean trailed off and looked to the side, whatever he was about to say made him feel guilty. Jane bit her lip. She knew what it was. "I tried to protect her Jane. She was off-limits to my people. I know M-"

"Don't. Say. Her. Name," Jane practically growled. She didn't care if he was leading up to asking her to kill Doyle. She didn't care how much more information there was to get. She had lost control the second he had even tried to mention her name.

"Jane-" he tried.

The word was barely out of his mouth before Jane was out of her seat with her hand around his neck, slamming his head down against the counter. She loomed over him, deadly and ferocious.

"You. You started this. You tried to kill her."

Jane tightened her hand, enjoying the sight of the whites of Dean's eyes as he showed pure fear.

"But you made a mistake. Maura is a genius."

With one last bang of his head against the counter Jane let go. She heard her bedroom door open and the sound of feet rushing towards her. She reached for Dean and spun him around, pulling his hands behind his back and slapping cuffs on, tightening much harder than she should.

"You, scumbag, are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

With his face against the counter Dean snapped, jerking against the cuffs. "You've got nothing on me! It's your words against mine! You're the fucking dyke that was in love with her, maybe you killed her."

Jane leaned down and spoke directly into his ear. "I've got you on tape," she smirked as she pulled back, maybe sure he could see as she pulled the wire from her bra. She pulled her roughly again, pushing him into Cavanaugh's waiting hands.

"You got this?"

Cavanaugh nodded. "You go get the girl."

Jane didn't wait for any more confirmation before she ran out of her apartment, heading home.

* * *

><p>"Maura!" Jane yelled as she ran into Maura's house, not even pausing to close the door behind her and she entered. Of course Maura hadn't locked the door, even after everything. Maybe Jane just needed to be there every night to make sure that damn door was locked. That sounded like a good idea.<p>

"Jane!" Maura's voice returned.

Jane ran in the direction of the voice, smiling when she saw Maura running towards her as well, even in impossibly high heels. No words were said and Jane pulled Maura into a tight embrace, overwhelming emotions pushing tears down her face as she breathed in the doctor's perfume and scent. There was something so right about holding the soft curved woman in her arms.

"God Maura," Jane whispered into the honey hair. "Don't ever leave me, ever again."

She felt, more than saw, Maura shake her head.

Jane held her for another moment before she pulled back, looking into her favourite hazel eyes. There was so much to saw, so much to do she thought as he glanced at Maura's plump lips.

But first, "Doyle?"

Maura smiled, running her hand up Jane's back and through knotted curls. "He went straight to the station after you called. I watched him walk into before they brought me back here."

Jane pulled Maura back against her. "Good," was all she could say.

"I love you Jane," Maura said against Jane's neck.

Jane leaned back in the embrace, connecting her eye's with Maura's. "I'm in love with you Maura."

It seemed to take a lifetime as both women leaned towards each other, softly connecting their lips. Electricity surrounded them and the rest of the world disappeared, as it became just the two of them. Not more full sentences passed between the two for the entire night or next morning as they took their friendship to the place it had always been building to.

* * *

><p><strong>End chapter 9.<strong>


	11. Epilogue

**A/N: Here's the epilogue! Sorry for any mistakes, I really wanted to get this posted :)**

* * *

><p>It had been a long and amazing six months. Long because of the trial and amazing because of her new girlfriend. The relationship had moved quickly, Jane moving in with Maura after only a month. It helped that the two had been practically living together for years. Maura had even donated half of her wardrobe in order to give Jane space. She didn't need it all but Maura wanted to make sure Jane knew that this was her home to. She drew the line on giving up any of her shoes though. She loved Jane more than anything but nobody made her give up her shoes.<p>

Jo Friday and Bass had become inseparable, much to Jane's confusion, as she still couldn't seem to bond with the hard moving lump. Jane had even grown accustomed to her mother constantly walking in at any time of the day or night. Of course it was now usually preceded by a knock after Angela had caught an eye-full the first few times.

Dean was in jail and having a very hard time as Jane had heard. Doyle was in jail as well but Maura had become a frequent visitor. Jane worried about her girlfriend's safety but she was also so proud that Maura had been able to put everything aside and develop a relationship with her birth father.

It was almost time for the entire family to arrive for Sunday night dinner. Maura and Angela were cooking in the kitchen while Jane was getting ready in the bedroom. In all honesty she was actually sitting on the bed rolling the ring around and around in her finger. She'd brought it a month earlier and had just been waiting for the right moment. She knew from the first date that Maura was her forever. Honestly she'd known well before then but that's all she'd admit to at the moment. She tried to come up with a plan, romantic restaurant, dinner at home, opera... but nothing seemed good enough for Maura. Maura deserved the word, she deserved everything. Jane sighed and slipped the ring back into her pocket. She had a few more things to do before she could actually 'pop the question' and this was the perfect time. With a deep breath she pulled out her phone and dialled what was quickly becoming a familiar number.

"Massachusetts Correctional Institution," a male voice answers.

"Detective Jane Rizzoli, Victor 825," she identified herself. "I need to speak to inmate 1423, Patrick Doyle."

"Please wait," the voice replied.

Jane impatiently plucked at the bed cover for the 15 minutes she spent waiting. Soon a gruff and familiar voice came on the line.

"Maura?" Paddy asked.

"It's Jane."

"Is Maura OK?"

Jane smiled. She was glad that there was at least one other person in the world who would do anything for one Maura Isles. "She's fine."

"Good."

Silence came across the line.

"Then why did you call Jane?"

Jane took another deep breath. "I have a question to ask you."

"I may not answer."

"I know."

"Go ahead."

Jane fingered the ring in her pocket. "You love your daughter, I know that. You want what's best for her... I'm best for her."

There was silence again. "What's the question Jane?"

"I'm not really asking permission, because I know it's her decision."

"Then what are you asking detective?"

"I want to marry your daughter because no one will ever love her more or better than I can and will. I... Do you..." Jane cleared her throat. This had seemed like such a good idea but now it seemed stupid. "You have protected her for her entire life. When I ask her to marry me I'm not just asking her to spend her life with me, I'm giving her MY protection for the rest of her life."

"Are you asking if I trust you with Maura?"

Jane was silent.

"You are the only person I trust with my daughter detective. You deserve her. I know you didn't ask for it... but you have my permission."

Jane bites her lip, forcing the tears back. Doyle was a criminal. He was a killer. But he loved his daughter, she was his world, and he had just told Jane that she deserved her.

Doyle seemed to understand that Jane couldn't say anything more. "Good luck detective."

There was a click and the connection was cut off.

Jane had already spoken to Constance and Richard Isles and Hope Martin. She'd even spoken to Angela. But for some reason it was the assurance from Doyle that gave her the confidence she needed.

"Jane! Dinner!" Angela's voice broke her from her thoughts.

"Coming!" she yelled back as she stood, quickly washing her face in the kitchen before heading downstairs.

She headed straight to Maura, as if her body was magnetised to the doctor's. She wrapped her arms around the smaller woman from behind and placed a kiss to the back of her neck.

"Are you OK?" Maura asked, twisting her head to try and look at Jane's face.

"Now I am," Jane mumbled into Maura's neck. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"That's beautiful," Angela basically sobbed as she watched the scene in front of her.

"Ma!" Jane sighed as she pulled away from Maura, grabbing the plates and moving to the table.

"Don't 'Ma' me Janie! You are FINALLY in a relationship with someone you love that loves you, I'm allowed to be happy."

"Yes Ma."

"And I'm allowed to expect grandbabies."

"Gah!" Jane threw up her hands in exasperation.

Maura just chuckled lightly, finishing the salad she'd been working on and moving it to the table just as Frankie and Tommy crashed through the door, soon followed by Korsak, Cavanaugh and Frost.

"Maura how many times have I told you to lock that door!" Jane frowned.

Maura just shrugged. "You'll protect me."

Jane straightened. It had been stated like a fact. Maura truly felt safe and protected in Jane's presence. Something took over as Jane closed the distance between herself and Maura. She felt like she was in a trance.

"Jane?" Maura sounded worried.

"Marry me?" the words just slipped out of Jane's mouth.

"What?" Maura's eyes widened, she was shocked.

Angela, Frankie, Tommy, Frost, Cavanaugh and Korsak were all dead silent as they watched.

_Whoops, _Jane thought, _too late to take it back now._ "I love you. I am so damn in love with you. Your brains and your beauty, how adorable you are when you're confused by something, how you point your finger just before you spurt out one of your endless facts, how strong but vulnerable you are... I feel like I have known you my entire life, I feel like I have loved you since before I even met you... it's like you were made for me and I was made for you. Every minute apart, I miss you so bad-"

"Badly," Maura said before slapping a hand over her mouth.

Jane laughed. "Badly. I love when you interrupt and correct me. I love teasing you. I want to marry you Maura because I don't want to spend anymore time not being able to say that you are my wife. I want to start our lives together. So... will you marry me Maura?"

Maura nodded her head jerkily up and down and began hopping up and down in her heels as tears poured down her face.

"Yes?" Jane laughed.

"Yes!"

Maura threw her arms around Jane and littered kisses all over the Italian's face. Jane just let her body completely fall into Maura's. Cheers soon broke them apart.

"Oh crap," Jane frowned, quickly pulling the ring out of her pocket and holding it up to Maura. "I forgot this." Jane pushed it onto Maura's finger, smiling at the perfect fit and looping their fingers together. Her smile dropped when she looked up at Maura's face though. "What's wrong?"

"You brought me a ring?" Maura asked.

"Umm... yeah? Proposals mean rings don't they?" Jane was confused.

"You planned this?"

"Oh!" Jane understood immediately and shrugged. "Well I've wanted to ask you for a while but I never found the right time... and I guess before a big family dinner with everyone watching isn't the most romantic thing but when you said I'd protect you I just knew." Jane shot Maura a slightly embarrassed smile.

"It was perfect."

Jane pulled Maura in for one more kiss before their family broke them apart to shower them with congratulations. Life was perfect.

* * *

><p><strong>End epilogue.<strong>

**Alright. So my next story is an AU kinda crossover thing. I don't want to give too much away but it's based on the Reality Show Survivor. Relationships in that show have got to be based on an extreme kind of trust and loyalty and I think that's perfect for Maura and Jane. Hope to see you guys later!**


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